[ Were, more accurately. Close enough. It's a flippant answer, yeah, but it's also the best one he's got, because he doesn't have any particular insight on exactly what this is any more than Steven does. Maybe he's more used to the sensation of reality feeling like a really subjective point of view though, due to various circumstances, whereas Steven's always been more grounded on the straight and narrow. Which has been good for him, having that stability when everything else was falling apart around him.
He feels like the selfish, needy one for not wanting to let it go, or even try to wake up if this is an actual dream, but he also doesn't feel guilty enough to do anything about it. Not as long as Steven wants to be here with him anyway, and seeing as he only seems to want to get closer that answers that unspoken question. ]
My whole life has been a 'bit' strange. [ He grumbles, not really annoyed at all as he curls that arm more securely around Steven's chest, fingers curling into his shirt. When he tips his head to the side this time his cheek rests against Steven's shoulder, breath still warm against his skin. ] You want me to move?
[ Maybe the answer is obvious, but he's still gotta ask. ]
Yeah... [Yeah, so has his. More than a bit strange, especially lately. And Steven knows he really doesn't have it in him to squirm away from Marc, even if he's going to be sitting here fretting about all the reasons they shouldn't-- be here. Doing this.
But Steven just... desperately wants the affection, which is probably sad. But Marc is holding him like he's something precious and-- okay, he knows how Marc feels about him now. He gave up bloody paradise to come back to Steven in the sands. But it's still nice to be held like this too.
Very nice, in fact.]
No... stay. [Although the breath ghosting against his skin makes him wish for-- well, he's not entirely sure. Probably things he really shouldn't, so he just tries to not think about it. He just reaches up to lace his fingers with Marc's and tries not to fret too much.]
[ If given a choice Marc won't usually admit to having feelings at all, outside of very specific exceptions, let alone what he wants or needs that he can't just deal with himself, so he wouldn't say that Steven's acceptance and affection means so much to him, but it does. He'll tease the guy all day long, partially because that's just a way he shows affection, partially because he thinks Steven would be a lot happier if he learns how to loosen up a bit more, it's just a totally different situation when it's serious. He's more careful about the way he loosens his grip on Steven's shirt so that their fingers slide together.
He wasn't planning on going anywhere. Obviously. Despite the fact that for all of his wry remarks earlier he was in some kind of mood tonight, and whether he had any actual intention of doing anything about it or not the fact remains that his body has certain reactions to that given the warmth and proximity and not so subtle friction rubbing up against him.
Clearly the best way to handle it is to not mention it, right? Even if there's no way Steven wouldn't notice, close as they are. As sheltered as he is he'd have to know that it's just a thing that happens to a guy sometimes, even if he's never been in bed with someone else on those occasions. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ He rubs his thumb against the side of Steven's hand, a subconscious kind of gesture that just feels right. ] Not without you.
Oh. That certainly is-- something, isn't it? It would be impossible to not notice that pressure up against his... bum. He feels conflicted between squirming away and making some excuse for needing to get up anyway, and just... letting whatever happens happen. There's a nervous twist in his gut, but it's more than that. There's a flush of warmth through him and something far more-- primal he doesn't want to think about.
Or maybe it's just that he feels he shouldn't.
He's afraid of messing things up or making Marc-- regret him. Regret this co-existence they're trying because Steven's chasing things he shouldn't.
But he ends up squirming back despite the inner panic, pointed.]
Marc... [He breathes out, quiet. Maybe slightly uncertain, maybe a little... more meek than he means to, but he presses back a little more firmly and summons all the courage he's capable of.]
[ They really could just ignore it. That's more or less what Marc's already resigned to, no matter how unexpectedly intimate this is, with Steven tucking himself in close and even grabbing his hand to pull his arm in tighter, because all of that could be innocent enough. Weird, sure, everything they do is going to be by default at this point, and it's probably more physical vulnerability than Marc would dare to expose with most people — Steven knows better than anyone just how prone he is to closing himself off — but it's not so hard to put his ego aside with Steven now, he can admit that he likes this.
Maybe Steven's honesty is just that contagious.
Whatever the case, he's not expecting to feel Steven's heartbeat hammering underneath the palm of his hand, which is the exact opposite of relaxing and drifting back off to sleep, if they're even awake now. He hasn't exactly stopped moving either, which is obviously not at all helping the issue, and Marc's almost holding his own breath as he stifles the urge to do the same. It would almost be too easy to wiggle his own hips and see how much more friction he'd get out of it, but—
But Steven's offering, isn't he?
Between that and the much less subtle way he leans back into him, which draws a muffled noise out of him that's close to a grunt, it seems pretty apparent that Steven's not put off. Whether or not he should be, this doesn't feel wrong somehow. It just feels good, and for at least a second Marc lets himself just take it for what it is, nuzzling even closer against Steven's neck as he rocks his hips forward. ]
[There's a noise that leaves his throat when Marc starts to move in return and there's just-- no denying what reaction he's getting from him, or what reaction his own body is giving in return.
This is the opposite of sleep, but Steven doesn't think he'd have gotten back there anyway and there's-- certainly no way he could have just ignored the rather prominent bulge pressed against his arse all night anyway. Steven is always good at working himself up after all, worrying about what he should or shouldn't be doing.
Although right now? He's not-- worried exactly. No more than he usually is. He didn't quite have a firm idea of how he'd help though. No real grasp of what Marc might like or experience to boldly turn over and take things into his own hands. Now he's left rolling things over in his head, trying to figure it out.]
What would you like?
[It takes-- a lot of courage to turn around and face Marc right now, but he manages it. Rolling on to his side so that they're face to face, rather than how they were.]
Tell me what would-- what would make you feel good. [He's not smooth or charming as Marc, but he is trying at least.]
{ Assuming that this is a dream, because it has to be, gives Marc a lot of leeway as far as just going with it and not overthinking any part of it too much. Assuming that they both remember it at all they can always just put it behind them and forget about it if it ends up feeling too weird at some point, and if not— well, he hasn't let himself get that far ahead yet.
Instead he's thinking about the fact that Steven has absolutely no experience to draw from here, he's not even sure the guy's kissed a girl before, let alone done anything more than that. If there's anything working in his favor it's that he knows what he's dealing with here, physically and otherwise, though putting it in this light makes things different for both of them.
It's not like he has a lot in the way of experience with men to draw on here, he might have experimented some, mostly from finding ways to blow off steam with comrades when all they had was each other, it never occurred to him that he might want this with anyone, but... Steven's an exception to a lot of things already.
As Steven shifts around toward him he lifts a hand to that face, familiar even in the very dim light, and drags his thumb lightly across the man's lower lip. It takes a very slight amount of shifting on his part to gently roll Steven over onto his back, letting him settle in between his legs.
[It's harder and harder to worry about the potential consequences when Marc has him pushed over on to his back, when there's warmth spreading through out him, creeping up his neck to his face.
When Marc is touching him like that.
They're-- a packaged deal either way, yeah? They'll... have to work it out, or. Something. Or maybe he's being a bit selfish because he's never-- been touched like this before, or wanted like this before, and it's flattering as much as it is nerve wracking.
He sighs softly as he draws his legs up a bit, slides his arms up around Marc's shoulders. One to hold loosely on, the other so his fingers can play through the hair at the nape of his neck.]
Positive. [He manages a smile up at Marc in the dim light.]
I want-- you, Marc. [Which doesn't sound nearly as smooth as it did in his head, but it's the truth.]
[ Marc's eyes almost drift shut for a moment when those fingers stroke along the back of his neck, it just happens to be a sensitive spot — he wonders now if Steven would have the exact same ones that he does or if he's got his own, knowing there's only one way to find out — and he's not in the mood to be shy about letting Steven know what feels good in his own way. He's the one who knows what he's doing here, mostly, and yet it's a whole different kind of sensation, giving and taking from someone who knows and understands him as thoroughly as Steven does, which is probably why there's a lot less fumbling now that there would have been with anyone else.
Marc never said as much, he's reluctant to admit these things, but he would have been incredibly jealous if Steven did find someone else to do this with, though he'd be totally within his rights to do exactly that for once, having been deprived of the chance before. He knew that before, he just didn't fully realize that he wanted to be the one right here.
But he does. He wants it a lot.
Steven doesn't need to be smooth, the honesty is what Marc needed, what he's always needed, and he won't give him the chance to stumble over his words anyway because he's occupying Steven's mouth with a kiss instead. One that's warm and slow and patient, knowing that it might take a minute for him to stop overthinking it and relax into it.
Or maybe it won't, maybe it'll go straight to surprisingly passionate, especially since he's rocking his hips into Steven now, giving them both a considerable amount of friction despite the fact that they're both still got clothes in the way. ]
[No one really pays Steven much mind at all, let alone ever shows interest in taking him to bed. The only-- person he's even been remotely interested in happens to be Marc's wife and maybe that really is... wrong of him. He doesn't want to make Marc upset and he's not sure how Layla actually feels about everything.
Not that he's trying to think about her right now.
It's hard to think about anything besides how handsome Marc looks, how his reactions make his stomach flip flop int he best of ways. He doesn't care if they look alike -- they both carry it so different. He's sure Marc is so much nicer to look at than him. Big and strong and confident in ways Steven can never be.
Oh, and so good at kissing Steven in ways that leave him whimpering and clutching at Marc with an urgent need to keep going, to feel-- more. There's a gasp against Marc's lips at the first roll of Marc's hips, at that delightful friction that makes him twitch forward, seeking out more.]
Oh, Marc-- [He's scrambling to tug at Marc's shirt. He's nervous and-- trying to not overthink things, but it's impossible to cut that part out entirely. All he can do is force himself to act even as his mind races a million miles a minute.]
This isn't-- like anything I've thought of before. I think it's better. [Not that he's let him think about Marc like this-- much. Maybe a little. Hopefully Marc won't be upset at the idea or anything.]
[ Marc knew it would be different, and it is. Kissing Steven effectively stifles any lingering, nagging thoughts because it's not at all like kissing, well, himself. The noises Steven makes, the way his lips move and part on what might have been a gasp for air between the heat of Marc's mouth and the steady rock of his hips, and even the way he tastes, it's all a whole new experience for both of them, and Marc's finding it way too easy to just sink into it.
Obviously it would be easy to surrender to it here, just between the two of them, since he's already been more vulnerable with Steven than he's been with anyone else in his whole life, there just aren't any boundaries there anymore.
When he does come up for air from that kiss he realizes that Steven's tugging at his shirt, and it seems like an especially good time to get rid of it, and with a little help he can slide it off without actually having to move. When his fingers catch on Steven's shirt though it's not fully with the intention of stripping it all the way off, mostly he just wants it out of the way, whether Steven manages to wiggle out of it or he just pushes it up over his chest.
All that matters is that he wants Steven's hands on him, and he wants his mouth on Steven's bare skin. ]
What were you thinking about before?
[ He's not upset. In fact he suddenly really wants to know. ]
[It isn't like kissing-- himself. Same lips, mybe, but Marc kisses entirely differently. Tastes much more intoxicating than he thinks he ever could... and certainly kisses better than Steven thinks he's even capable of, what little experience he's got. But that doesn't seem to matter. He kisses Marc with enthusiasm, letting it break up the little noises leaving his throat.
He feels restless, like he's burning up from the inside with the desire to just feel more of Marc. He looks so... breathtaking above him. He doesn't really think twice about letting his hands smooth up Marc's chest, taking in the sight appreciatively. It's his body too. He knows that.
But he feels so different? To Steven. It's in the way he carries himself, in the way he holds himself above Steven.
He doesn't think to pull his shirt the rest of the way off with Marc's lips on his skin. He arches up against him, lets out a soft whine as he debates how to... even answer that.]
Ah-- I... I don't know. Kissing and, and... cuddling... maybe what your hands would feel like on me sometimes.
[His fantasies aren't really scandalous as Marc might expect or want to hear, but Steven felt guilty enough even thinking those things about Marc, let alone anything else.]
[ Like everything else they've experienced so far this is different too, seeing Steven half naked underneath him in the dim light of the bedroom. Familiar, sure, he's looked at himself often enough to know what he looks like, but the differences between them are so distinct, especially to him, it's not actually strange. It might even be less strange now than it was before, when they first ran into each other while they were dead, he just knows Steven that much better now. And the reverse is probably even more true, Steven knows him, he doubts there would ever be any confusion about who is who between the two of them.
And it's not like they're doing this because they find each other irresistibly attractive physically speaking. The body is fine, yeah, but this is about how they Feel, and how surprisingly easy it is to share this intimacy with each other along with everything else — and how much they both want to share it. Marc wants it a lot, so much so right now that it does surprise him.
Just not in a way that ruins the moment. Instead he's intensely aware of what those desperate noises are doing to him, it's totally at odds with the fact that he wants to take this slow so that he's not completely overwhelming Steven all at once. So for now at least he won't go for the pants, even though the way he's grinding into Steven with them on isn't leaving much to the imagination. ]
Is that what you want right now? My hands on you? [ He asks, in between the slow sucking kisses that he's trailing over Steven's chest. There's even a soft bite scattered there too, nothing too sharp, just enough for him to feel it. ]
[It is different. Different to when he kissed Layla. Different to any other date he's been on. Marc is handsome, yes, but-- it's more than that. It's about who he is, how surprisingly right it feels when they're together. It's how Marc treats him and hold him and tries to take care of him. It's more than Steven probably deserves at times.
But he's not thinking about that right now. He's grinding himself up, following Marc's rhythm. His fingers tangle through Marc's hair when his mouth moves over his chest, fingertips dragging over his scalp.]
I want-- [He trails off, debating. Is that what he wants? Maybe. Yes. But he wants so much... and he wants to do something for Marc in return.]
I want, um... the rest of your clothes off. Is that okay?
[ It's hard not to chuckle at a question like that at this point, since they're way past anything like modesty, but Marc keeps it to an affectionately amused huff of breath against Steven's skin, shifting his weight over onto one elbow so he's got one hand free without having to pull back too far. ]
Yeah. We can do that.
[ Steven could do it himself, and Marc's not going to complain if he reaches down to help, but he's fully capable of hooking a thumb into the waistband of both his loose sweatpants and the boxer briefs below them and carefully tugging them down over his hips. It's just a little more challenging since he's already hard — how could he not be from the way they've been rubbing against each other? — but he's managed before.
It's probably better that he takes that step first though. It might make Steven feel a little less shy about doing the same, when he's ready to. In the meantime if he wants to look or touch or do both, Marc's ready for it. ]
[Okay, in retrospect, maybe it was just a tiny bit silly. But-- Steven doesn't want to say or do something to make Marc uncomfortable, or to make this all fade away like some dream he'll never get back. He's terrified of embarrassing himself or making Marc uncomfortable or... a million other little worries that seem to always follow Steven when he lets himself get worked up.
They're almost subdued when he watches Marc strip away the last layer of his clothes, his mouth going dry as he watches - and then thinks he shouldn't watch and tries to direct his eyes up.
Only it doesn't last for long. He reaches out after a moment to rest his hands against Marc's waist tentatively before he starts trying to nudge forward to switch their positions. It will be easier if their positions are switched after all.]
[ Of course Steven would still think to avert his eyes, as if there's some modesty to preserve here, but Marc won't call him out on this one. He'll learn, probably pretty quickly, that there's no need to be shy, not with him, not in general and especially not now. They'll get there, there's no reason to try to rush things. Which is also why he's easy to nudge, as despite being the one with more experience he's more than fine with letting Steven figure things out himself.
If he needs encouragement or a little guidance Marc's here for him, in the meantime he's rolling onto his back at the gentle nudging, though he does pull Steven with him for another kiss along the way, impulsive and heated, because whatever Steven does decide to do with the opportunity he wants it. And at least a half dozen other things that immediately come to mind, but they'll get to it.
Assuming that neither of them comes to the sudden realization that this is too much, though that seems less and less likely the farther they go. ]
[It's silly. He knows it is. But this is all new, and-- okay, they should technically have the same body, but it's hard to see himself the way he sees Marc. It's hard to look at him and see just himself sometimes.
Especially when Marc seems to be trusting him so completely, rolling back to let him touch as he wants. He shifts until he's hovering over Marc, one hand planted on the bed while the other-- slides down over his body appreciatively, adoringly.
He can't imagine stopping now, even if he has no bloody idea what he's doing exactly. Eyes dart up to meet Marc's briefly before he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the center of Marc's chest, just over his heart.]
Oh my days, Marc... How do I even start? There's-- so much.
[ Marc's not great at expressing himself even under the best circumstances, as it is there's no way he could tell Steven just how much that kind of touch does for him. Not that he's self-conscious about his body, but being able to feel something almost like reverence in the way Steven's fingers and eyes roam over him, knowing that there's no hidden secrets left that would change this, it's a lot for him too. But maybe it's alright that he doesn't know how to say it, he can still sift his hands through Steven's hair, tangling his fingers through it and exhaling a heavy breath when the man's lips brush over his skin.
He has no doubt that Steven would try anything he asked for, and there probably isn't much that they wouldn't both like, it's just that some things are more involved than others. But if Steven needs some input on where to start, Marc's got an idea of his own. ]
You could start with taking your pants off.
[ Which might involve loosening his grip on Steven's hair, but as soon as he's equally naked Marc won't waste any time in drawing him right back up, close enough for another kiss, and, just as importantly, straddling him in a way that lets them grind up against each other without any clothing in the way. ]
[There's an almost coy smile at that suggestion. It seems silly to be self-conscious, but-- he is. Just a bit. There's no way to hide his obvious arousal once he starts working his sleep bottoms and underwear down and off. There's a rather obvious proof of it that springs free of the confinement of his garments, brings more heat to his face.
But he throws the clothes somewhere off the side of the bed before he's pulled back up for another kiss and tangled back into Marc, their bodies close enough that they move together, skin against skin, in a way that draws a desperate whine from his lips. Oh, that's-- so bloody fantastic.]
Marc-- [There's a careful nip to Marc's lower lip.] I don't know how I will ever get enough of you...
[ It's a lot harder to be self-conscious about anything when Marc's kissing him, right? That's the idea anyway. If he can keep Steven distracted then he won't start thinking too much about it and flustering himself all over again, which isn't necessary at all because honestly he's doing just fine. Inexperienced, yeah, maybe a little fumbling, but not in a way that's ruining the mood at all, Steven's earnest nature is one of the things that Marc admires so much about him, and it's no different here and now, when they're getting more intimate than ever.
Marc's still lingering at his mouth, sighing softly when those teeth catch on his lip, because even the small things are doing a lot for him here, but he's also slipping a hand down between them, carefully wrapping his fingers around Steven's cock, his thumb rubbing against his own. While it's not the most precise angle it works well enough.
Good enough to encourage Steven to thrust into that grip, it won't take much to start slicking things up a little in the process. He's already going to be partially muffling a groan against Steven's mouth before they've even gotten that far though. ]
[Oh, the kissing is very distracting. It's so easy to melt into, to get lost in. Steven may not know what he's doing, but Marc certainly seems to know. It sends tingles through Steven, makes him ache for so much more--
And oh-- oh<.i>. The warmth of that hand around him. It draws aw himper from him, makes him jerk forward before he can even stop himself. It seems to be what Marc wants anyway.]
Marc-- Marc... [His voice is pinched, strained as he pulls away to try to catch his breath, ducking his head. He can't quite bring himself to look at Marc. He feels so overwhelmed, out of control. It's equal parts amazing and terrifying.
And he doesn't want it to end. If he could stay tangled up with Marc the rest of the night, he thinks he'd be a happy man.
He rolls his hips forward, instinctively seeking out more friction as he presses his lips along Marc's neck, down to his collar, tentative kisses and nips scattered eagerly along his skin between muffled moans and breathless pants.]
[ Physically it's not so different from the way he might relieve tension on his own, but the difference between it just being his own hand and the way his hand is there now just to hold them in place makes it feel like something else entirely. Even knowing what to expect only does so much, he's right there with Steven when it comes to that exhilarating rush that neither of them has any real control over at the moment.
More noises follow, groans and softer grunts that express just how good it feels when Steven's rocking into it. He is too, he just has less leverage from his position. That's fine, it's just as good to encourage Steven into it, squeezing and stroking in time with his movements, while he feels his way into a rhythm, while his other hand drags over Steven's back and into his hair, gripping and digging in along the way, whatever he can do to keep him as close as possible.
He's got a feeling that Steven won't be able to hold onto any kind of self-control for long at this rate, but he doesn't mind that either. He's chasing whatever feels good, more for Steven than for himself, until they're both fully exhausted. ]
Just like that, Steven. Fuck... [ He's probably going to leave at least a couple of obvious marks on Steven's neck, where he's kissed and sucked a little too hard. He can't help it, he's distracted. ] Don't stop.
[It isn't-- like what Steven tends to do on his own. Not that he does it often at all. Relaxing... that way when he intends to stay up as late as he possibly can most nights isn't really conducive to his goal. Plus, it's always hasty and he's always just in a rush to clean himself up and forget it.
His fantasies are never something to dwell on, whatever they may be, but... this may be better than any fantasy he's ever had. The way Marc says his name, the way he encourages him... oh, but it draws a whimper out of him. Needy, wanton... even the fingers tugging into his hair, pulling hard enough that Steven can feel bloody fantastic right now.
Marc-- [Words are failing him. He can't convey just how amazing Marc looks, how good his mouth feels on his skin. It's all going to be over embarrassingly fast and he knows it. The way his muscles are tightening, the way the tension and pleasure builds and leaves his movements less coordinated and more urgent. He can't stop though.]
Marc... Marc, please-- [He doesn't even know what he's begging for, what he wants. More of this, maybe. Maybe he doesn't want it to ever end or stop. He just wants to be able to tangle into Marc and never lose it. Lose this. It's wrong and selfish, maybe, but it's all he can think of right now.]
[ Marc may have a lot more experience, both on his own and with someone else, and maybe he could hold out longer if he wanted to — but he doesn't, and with Steven thrusting desperately against him, losing what semblance of composure he had to begin with, alternating between gasping and moaning his name, well, maybe he couldn't even if he tried. It's so much better just to let it push him over the edge right there too, grasping Steven as tightly as he ever has, their faces so close together that the intimacy of it strikes him even while he's caught up in the rush of finally hitting that release.
It'll do more than make them both slick, it'll make a mess that they'll have to deal with sooner or later, though that's the last thing on his mind as he thrusts himself up into it with a low, rough groan. It wouldn't be anything like this if he'd taken things into his own hands, like he'd suggested earlier.
He needs that room to breathe, they both probably do, but he's catching Steven's mouth again before it's over, moving with him now that the pace isn't so frantic and they're riding the rest of it out together. There's no way he could have even begun to suspect that it would be this... amazing? Mind blowing? Even if he'd gotten over the impossible hurdle of considering that it could actually happen.
His fingers do loosen slightly in Steven's hair, just so he can stroke through it instead. ]
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[ Were, more accurately. Close enough. It's a flippant answer, yeah, but it's also the best one he's got, because he doesn't have any particular insight on exactly what this is any more than Steven does. Maybe he's more used to the sensation of reality feeling like a really subjective point of view though, due to various circumstances, whereas Steven's always been more grounded on the straight and narrow. Which has been good for him, having that stability when everything else was falling apart around him.
He feels like the selfish, needy one for not wanting to let it go, or even try to wake up if this is an actual dream, but he also doesn't feel guilty enough to do anything about it. Not as long as Steven wants to be here with him anyway, and seeing as he only seems to want to get closer that answers that unspoken question. ]
My whole life has been a 'bit' strange. [ He grumbles, not really annoyed at all as he curls that arm more securely around Steven's chest, fingers curling into his shirt. When he tips his head to the side this time his cheek rests against Steven's shoulder, breath still warm against his skin. ] You want me to move?
[ Maybe the answer is obvious, but he's still gotta ask. ]
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But Steven just... desperately wants the affection, which is probably sad. But Marc is holding him like he's something precious and-- okay, he knows how Marc feels about him now. He gave up bloody paradise to come back to Steven in the sands. But it's still nice to be held like this too.
Very nice, in fact.]
No... stay. [Although the breath ghosting against his skin makes him wish for-- well, he's not entirely sure. Probably things he really shouldn't, so he just tries to not think about it. He just reaches up to lace his fingers with Marc's and tries not to fret too much.]
Just stay, Marc.
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He wasn't planning on going anywhere. Obviously. Despite the fact that for all of his wry remarks earlier he was in some kind of mood tonight, and whether he had any actual intention of doing anything about it or not the fact remains that his body has certain reactions to that given the warmth and proximity and not so subtle friction rubbing up against him.
Clearly the best way to handle it is to not mention it, right? Even if there's no way Steven wouldn't notice, close as they are. As sheltered as he is he'd have to know that it's just a thing that happens to a guy sometimes, even if he's never been in bed with someone else on those occasions. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ He rubs his thumb against the side of Steven's hand, a subconscious kind of gesture that just feels right. ] Not without you.
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Oh. That certainly is-- something, isn't it? It would be impossible to not notice that pressure up against his... bum. He feels conflicted between squirming away and making some excuse for needing to get up anyway, and just... letting whatever happens happen. There's a nervous twist in his gut, but it's more than that. There's a flush of warmth through him and something far more-- primal he doesn't want to think about.
Or maybe it's just that he feels he shouldn't.
He's afraid of messing things up or making Marc-- regret him. Regret this co-existence they're trying because Steven's chasing things he shouldn't.
But he ends up squirming back despite the inner panic, pointed.]
Marc... [He breathes out, quiet. Maybe slightly uncertain, maybe a little... more meek than he means to, but he presses back a little more firmly and summons all the courage he's capable of.]
Do you... want some help?
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Maybe Steven's honesty is just that contagious.
Whatever the case, he's not expecting to feel Steven's heartbeat hammering underneath the palm of his hand, which is the exact opposite of relaxing and drifting back off to sleep, if they're even awake now. He hasn't exactly stopped moving either, which is obviously not at all helping the issue, and Marc's almost holding his own breath as he stifles the urge to do the same. It would almost be too easy to wiggle his own hips and see how much more friction he'd get out of it, but—
But Steven's offering, isn't he?
Between that and the much less subtle way he leans back into him, which draws a muffled noise out of him that's close to a grunt, it seems pretty apparent that Steven's not put off. Whether or not he should be, this doesn't feel wrong somehow. It just feels good, and for at least a second Marc lets himself just take it for what it is, nuzzling even closer against Steven's neck as he rocks his hips forward. ]
From you? Yeah. I do.
[ He might as well admit it. ]
What kind of help did you have in mind?
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This is the opposite of sleep, but Steven doesn't think he'd have gotten back there anyway and there's-- certainly no way he could have just ignored the rather prominent bulge pressed against his arse all night anyway. Steven is always good at working himself up after all, worrying about what he should or shouldn't be doing.
Although right now? He's not-- worried exactly. No more than he usually is. He didn't quite have a firm idea of how he'd help though. No real grasp of what Marc might like or experience to boldly turn over and take things into his own hands. Now he's left rolling things over in his head, trying to figure it out.]
What would you like?
[It takes-- a lot of courage to turn around and face Marc right now, but he manages it. Rolling on to his side so that they're face to face, rather than how they were.]
Tell me what would-- what would make you feel good. [He's not smooth or charming as Marc, but he is trying at least.]
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Instead he's thinking about the fact that Steven has absolutely no experience to draw from here, he's not even sure the guy's kissed a girl before, let alone done anything more than that. If there's anything working in his favor it's that he knows what he's dealing with here, physically and otherwise, though putting it in this light makes things different for both of them.
It's not like he has a lot in the way of experience with men to draw on here, he might have experimented some, mostly from finding ways to blow off steam with comrades when all they had was each other, it never occurred to him that he might want this with anyone, but... Steven's an exception to a lot of things already.
As Steven shifts around toward him he lifts a hand to that face, familiar even in the very dim light, and drags his thumb lightly across the man's lower lip. It takes a very slight amount of shifting on his part to gently roll Steven over onto his back, letting him settle in between his legs.
It feels good to be there, pressed in close. ]
You sure?
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When Marc is touching him like that.
They're-- a packaged deal either way, yeah? They'll... have to work it out, or. Something. Or maybe he's being a bit selfish because he's never-- been touched like this before, or wanted like this before, and it's flattering as much as it is nerve wracking.
He sighs softly as he draws his legs up a bit, slides his arms up around Marc's shoulders. One to hold loosely on, the other so his fingers can play through the hair at the nape of his neck.]
Positive. [He manages a smile up at Marc in the dim light.]
I want-- you, Marc. [Which doesn't sound nearly as smooth as it did in his head, but it's the truth.]
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Marc never said as much, he's reluctant to admit these things, but he would have been incredibly jealous if Steven did find someone else to do this with, though he'd be totally within his rights to do exactly that for once, having been deprived of the chance before. He knew that before, he just didn't fully realize that he wanted to be the one right here.
But he does. He wants it a lot.
Steven doesn't need to be smooth, the honesty is what Marc needed, what he's always needed, and he won't give him the chance to stumble over his words anyway because he's occupying Steven's mouth with a kiss instead. One that's warm and slow and patient, knowing that it might take a minute for him to stop overthinking it and relax into it.
Or maybe it won't, maybe it'll go straight to surprisingly passionate, especially since he's rocking his hips into Steven now, giving them both a considerable amount of friction despite the fact that they're both still got clothes in the way. ]
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Not that he's trying to think about her right now.
It's hard to think about anything besides how handsome Marc looks, how his reactions make his stomach flip flop int he best of ways. He doesn't care if they look alike -- they both carry it so different. He's sure Marc is so much nicer to look at than him. Big and strong and confident in ways Steven can never be.
Oh, and so good at kissing Steven in ways that leave him whimpering and clutching at Marc with an urgent need to keep going, to feel-- more. There's a gasp against Marc's lips at the first roll of Marc's hips, at that delightful friction that makes him twitch forward, seeking out more.]
Oh, Marc-- [He's scrambling to tug at Marc's shirt. He's nervous and-- trying to not overthink things, but it's impossible to cut that part out entirely. All he can do is force himself to act even as his mind races a million miles a minute.]
This isn't-- like anything I've thought of before. I think it's better. [Not that he's let him think about Marc like this-- much. Maybe a little. Hopefully Marc won't be upset at the idea or anything.]
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Obviously it would be easy to surrender to it here, just between the two of them, since he's already been more vulnerable with Steven than he's been with anyone else in his whole life, there just aren't any boundaries there anymore.
When he does come up for air from that kiss he realizes that Steven's tugging at his shirt, and it seems like an especially good time to get rid of it, and with a little help he can slide it off without actually having to move. When his fingers catch on Steven's shirt though it's not fully with the intention of stripping it all the way off, mostly he just wants it out of the way, whether Steven manages to wiggle out of it or he just pushes it up over his chest.
All that matters is that he wants Steven's hands on him, and he wants his mouth on Steven's bare skin. ]
What were you thinking about before?
[ He's not upset. In fact he suddenly really wants to know. ]
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He feels restless, like he's burning up from the inside with the desire to just feel more of Marc. He looks so... breathtaking above him. He doesn't really think twice about letting his hands smooth up Marc's chest, taking in the sight appreciatively. It's his body too. He knows that.
But he feels so different? To Steven. It's in the way he carries himself, in the way he holds himself above Steven.
He doesn't think to pull his shirt the rest of the way off with Marc's lips on his skin. He arches up against him, lets out a soft whine as he debates how to... even answer that.]
Ah-- I... I don't know. Kissing and, and... cuddling... maybe what your hands would feel like on me sometimes.
[His fantasies aren't really scandalous as Marc might expect or want to hear, but Steven felt guilty enough even thinking those things about Marc, let alone anything else.]
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And it's not like they're doing this because they find each other irresistibly attractive physically speaking. The body is fine, yeah, but this is about how they Feel, and how surprisingly easy it is to share this intimacy with each other along with everything else — and how much they both want to share it. Marc wants it a lot, so much so right now that it does surprise him.
Just not in a way that ruins the moment. Instead he's intensely aware of what those desperate noises are doing to him, it's totally at odds with the fact that he wants to take this slow so that he's not completely overwhelming Steven all at once. So for now at least he won't go for the pants, even though the way he's grinding into Steven with them on isn't leaving much to the imagination. ]
Is that what you want right now? My hands on you? [ He asks, in between the slow sucking kisses that he's trailing over Steven's chest. There's even a soft bite scattered there too, nothing too sharp, just enough for him to feel it. ]
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But he's not thinking about that right now. He's grinding himself up, following Marc's rhythm. His fingers tangle through Marc's hair when his mouth moves over his chest, fingertips dragging over his scalp.]
I want-- [He trails off, debating. Is that what he wants? Maybe. Yes. But he wants so much... and he wants to do something for Marc in return.]
I want, um... the rest of your clothes off. Is that okay?
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Yeah. We can do that.
[ Steven could do it himself, and Marc's not going to complain if he reaches down to help, but he's fully capable of hooking a thumb into the waistband of both his loose sweatpants and the boxer briefs below them and carefully tugging them down over his hips. It's just a little more challenging since he's already hard — how could he not be from the way they've been rubbing against each other? — but he's managed before.
It's probably better that he takes that step first though. It might make Steven feel a little less shy about doing the same, when he's ready to. In the meantime if he wants to look or touch or do both, Marc's ready for it. ]
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They're almost subdued when he watches Marc strip away the last layer of his clothes, his mouth going dry as he watches - and then thinks he shouldn't watch and tries to direct his eyes up.
Only it doesn't last for long. He reaches out after a moment to rest his hands against Marc's waist tentatively before he starts trying to nudge forward to switch their positions. It will be easier if their positions are switched after all.]
Oh, Marc...
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If he needs encouragement or a little guidance Marc's here for him, in the meantime he's rolling onto his back at the gentle nudging, though he does pull Steven with him for another kiss along the way, impulsive and heated, because whatever Steven does decide to do with the opportunity he wants it. And at least a half dozen other things that immediately come to mind, but they'll get to it.
Assuming that neither of them comes to the sudden realization that this is too much, though that seems less and less likely the farther they go. ]
Show me what you want to do.
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Especially when Marc seems to be trusting him so completely, rolling back to let him touch as he wants. He shifts until he's hovering over Marc, one hand planted on the bed while the other-- slides down over his body appreciatively, adoringly.
He can't imagine stopping now, even if he has no bloody idea what he's doing exactly. Eyes dart up to meet Marc's briefly before he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the center of Marc's chest, just over his heart.]
Oh my days, Marc... How do I even start? There's-- so much.
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He has no doubt that Steven would try anything he asked for, and there probably isn't much that they wouldn't both like, it's just that some things are more involved than others. But if Steven needs some input on where to start, Marc's got an idea of his own. ]
You could start with taking your pants off.
[ Which might involve loosening his grip on Steven's hair, but as soon as he's equally naked Marc won't waste any time in drawing him right back up, close enough for another kiss, and, just as importantly, straddling him in a way that lets them grind up against each other without any clothing in the way. ]
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[There's an almost coy smile at that suggestion. It seems silly to be self-conscious, but-- he is. Just a bit. There's no way to hide his obvious arousal once he starts working his sleep bottoms and underwear down and off. There's a rather obvious proof of it that springs free of the confinement of his garments, brings more heat to his face.
But he throws the clothes somewhere off the side of the bed before he's pulled back up for another kiss and tangled back into Marc, their bodies close enough that they move together, skin against skin, in a way that draws a desperate whine from his lips. Oh, that's-- so bloody fantastic.]
Marc-- [There's a careful nip to Marc's lower lip.] I don't know how I will ever get enough of you...
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Marc's still lingering at his mouth, sighing softly when those teeth catch on his lip, because even the small things are doing a lot for him here, but he's also slipping a hand down between them, carefully wrapping his fingers around Steven's cock, his thumb rubbing against his own. While it's not the most precise angle it works well enough.
Good enough to encourage Steven to thrust into that grip, it won't take much to start slicking things up a little in the process. He's already going to be partially muffling a groan against Steven's mouth before they've even gotten that far though. ]
We can work on that.
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And oh-- oh<.i>. The warmth of that hand around him. It draws aw himper from him, makes him jerk forward before he can even stop himself. It seems to be what Marc wants anyway.]
Marc-- Marc... [His voice is pinched, strained as he pulls away to try to catch his breath, ducking his head. He can't quite bring himself to look at Marc. He feels so overwhelmed, out of control. It's equal parts amazing and terrifying.
And he doesn't want it to end. If he could stay tangled up with Marc the rest of the night, he thinks he'd be a happy man.
He rolls his hips forward, instinctively seeking out more friction as he presses his lips along Marc's neck, down to his collar, tentative kisses and nips scattered eagerly along his skin between muffled moans and breathless pants.]
Oh my days-- Marc...
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More noises follow, groans and softer grunts that express just how good it feels when Steven's rocking into it. He is too, he just has less leverage from his position. That's fine, it's just as good to encourage Steven into it, squeezing and stroking in time with his movements, while he feels his way into a rhythm, while his other hand drags over Steven's back and into his hair, gripping and digging in along the way, whatever he can do to keep him as close as possible.
He's got a feeling that Steven won't be able to hold onto any kind of self-control for long at this rate, but he doesn't mind that either. He's chasing whatever feels good, more for Steven than for himself, until they're both fully exhausted. ]
Just like that, Steven. Fuck... [ He's probably going to leave at least a couple of obvious marks on Steven's neck, where he's kissed and sucked a little too hard. He can't help it, he's distracted. ] Don't stop.
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His fantasies are never something to dwell on, whatever they may be, but... this may be better than any fantasy he's ever had. The way Marc says his name, the way he encourages him... oh, but it draws a whimper out of him. Needy, wanton... even the fingers tugging into his hair, pulling hard enough that Steven can feel bloody fantastic right now.
Marc-- [Words are failing him. He can't convey just how amazing Marc looks, how good his mouth feels on his skin. It's all going to be over embarrassingly fast and he knows it. The way his muscles are tightening, the way the tension and pleasure builds and leaves his movements less coordinated and more urgent. He can't stop though.]
Marc... Marc, please-- [He doesn't even know what he's begging for, what he wants. More of this, maybe. Maybe he doesn't want it to ever end or stop. He just wants to be able to tangle into Marc and never lose it. Lose this. It's wrong and selfish, maybe, but it's all he can think of right now.]
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It'll do more than make them both slick, it'll make a mess that they'll have to deal with sooner or later, though that's the last thing on his mind as he thrusts himself up into it with a low, rough groan. It wouldn't be anything like this if he'd taken things into his own hands, like he'd suggested earlier.
He needs that room to breathe, they both probably do, but he's catching Steven's mouth again before it's over, moving with him now that the pace isn't so frantic and they're riding the rest of it out together. There's no way he could have even begun to suspect that it would be this... amazing? Mind blowing? Even if he'd gotten over the impossible hurdle of considering that it could actually happen.
His fingers do loosen slightly in Steven's hair, just so he can stroke through it instead. ]
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