[It's silly. He knows it is. But this is all new, and-- okay, they should technically have the same body, but it's hard to see himself the way he sees Marc. It's hard to look at him and see just himself sometimes.
Especially when Marc seems to be trusting him so completely, rolling back to let him touch as he wants. He shifts until he's hovering over Marc, one hand planted on the bed while the other-- slides down over his body appreciatively, adoringly.
He can't imagine stopping now, even if he has no bloody idea what he's doing exactly. Eyes dart up to meet Marc's briefly before he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the center of Marc's chest, just over his heart.]
Oh my days, Marc... How do I even start? There's-- so much.
[ Marc's not great at expressing himself even under the best circumstances, as it is there's no way he could tell Steven just how much that kind of touch does for him. Not that he's self-conscious about his body, but being able to feel something almost like reverence in the way Steven's fingers and eyes roam over him, knowing that there's no hidden secrets left that would change this, it's a lot for him too. But maybe it's alright that he doesn't know how to say it, he can still sift his hands through Steven's hair, tangling his fingers through it and exhaling a heavy breath when the man's lips brush over his skin.
He has no doubt that Steven would try anything he asked for, and there probably isn't much that they wouldn't both like, it's just that some things are more involved than others. But if Steven needs some input on where to start, Marc's got an idea of his own. ]
You could start with taking your pants off.
[ Which might involve loosening his grip on Steven's hair, but as soon as he's equally naked Marc won't waste any time in drawing him right back up, close enough for another kiss, and, just as importantly, straddling him in a way that lets them grind up against each other without any clothing in the way. ]
[There's an almost coy smile at that suggestion. It seems silly to be self-conscious, but-- he is. Just a bit. There's no way to hide his obvious arousal once he starts working his sleep bottoms and underwear down and off. There's a rather obvious proof of it that springs free of the confinement of his garments, brings more heat to his face.
But he throws the clothes somewhere off the side of the bed before he's pulled back up for another kiss and tangled back into Marc, their bodies close enough that they move together, skin against skin, in a way that draws a desperate whine from his lips. Oh, that's-- so bloody fantastic.]
Marc-- [There's a careful nip to Marc's lower lip.] I don't know how I will ever get enough of you...
[ It's a lot harder to be self-conscious about anything when Marc's kissing him, right? That's the idea anyway. If he can keep Steven distracted then he won't start thinking too much about it and flustering himself all over again, which isn't necessary at all because honestly he's doing just fine. Inexperienced, yeah, maybe a little fumbling, but not in a way that's ruining the mood at all, Steven's earnest nature is one of the things that Marc admires so much about him, and it's no different here and now, when they're getting more intimate than ever.
Marc's still lingering at his mouth, sighing softly when those teeth catch on his lip, because even the small things are doing a lot for him here, but he's also slipping a hand down between them, carefully wrapping his fingers around Steven's cock, his thumb rubbing against his own. While it's not the most precise angle it works well enough.
Good enough to encourage Steven to thrust into that grip, it won't take much to start slicking things up a little in the process. He's already going to be partially muffling a groan against Steven's mouth before they've even gotten that far though. ]
[Oh, the kissing is very distracting. It's so easy to melt into, to get lost in. Steven may not know what he's doing, but Marc certainly seems to know. It sends tingles through Steven, makes him ache for so much more--
And oh-- oh<.i>. The warmth of that hand around him. It draws aw himper from him, makes him jerk forward before he can even stop himself. It seems to be what Marc wants anyway.]
Marc-- Marc... [His voice is pinched, strained as he pulls away to try to catch his breath, ducking his head. He can't quite bring himself to look at Marc. He feels so overwhelmed, out of control. It's equal parts amazing and terrifying.
And he doesn't want it to end. If he could stay tangled up with Marc the rest of the night, he thinks he'd be a happy man.
He rolls his hips forward, instinctively seeking out more friction as he presses his lips along Marc's neck, down to his collar, tentative kisses and nips scattered eagerly along his skin between muffled moans and breathless pants.]
[ Physically it's not so different from the way he might relieve tension on his own, but the difference between it just being his own hand and the way his hand is there now just to hold them in place makes it feel like something else entirely. Even knowing what to expect only does so much, he's right there with Steven when it comes to that exhilarating rush that neither of them has any real control over at the moment.
More noises follow, groans and softer grunts that express just how good it feels when Steven's rocking into it. He is too, he just has less leverage from his position. That's fine, it's just as good to encourage Steven into it, squeezing and stroking in time with his movements, while he feels his way into a rhythm, while his other hand drags over Steven's back and into his hair, gripping and digging in along the way, whatever he can do to keep him as close as possible.
He's got a feeling that Steven won't be able to hold onto any kind of self-control for long at this rate, but he doesn't mind that either. He's chasing whatever feels good, more for Steven than for himself, until they're both fully exhausted. ]
Just like that, Steven. Fuck... [ He's probably going to leave at least a couple of obvious marks on Steven's neck, where he's kissed and sucked a little too hard. He can't help it, he's distracted. ] Don't stop.
[It isn't-- like what Steven tends to do on his own. Not that he does it often at all. Relaxing... that way when he intends to stay up as late as he possibly can most nights isn't really conducive to his goal. Plus, it's always hasty and he's always just in a rush to clean himself up and forget it.
His fantasies are never something to dwell on, whatever they may be, but... this may be better than any fantasy he's ever had. The way Marc says his name, the way he encourages him... oh, but it draws a whimper out of him. Needy, wanton... even the fingers tugging into his hair, pulling hard enough that Steven can feel bloody fantastic right now.
Marc-- [Words are failing him. He can't convey just how amazing Marc looks, how good his mouth feels on his skin. It's all going to be over embarrassingly fast and he knows it. The way his muscles are tightening, the way the tension and pleasure builds and leaves his movements less coordinated and more urgent. He can't stop though.]
Marc... Marc, please-- [He doesn't even know what he's begging for, what he wants. More of this, maybe. Maybe he doesn't want it to ever end or stop. He just wants to be able to tangle into Marc and never lose it. Lose this. It's wrong and selfish, maybe, but it's all he can think of right now.]
[ Marc may have a lot more experience, both on his own and with someone else, and maybe he could hold out longer if he wanted to — but he doesn't, and with Steven thrusting desperately against him, losing what semblance of composure he had to begin with, alternating between gasping and moaning his name, well, maybe he couldn't even if he tried. It's so much better just to let it push him over the edge right there too, grasping Steven as tightly as he ever has, their faces so close together that the intimacy of it strikes him even while he's caught up in the rush of finally hitting that release.
It'll do more than make them both slick, it'll make a mess that they'll have to deal with sooner or later, though that's the last thing on his mind as he thrusts himself up into it with a low, rough groan. It wouldn't be anything like this if he'd taken things into his own hands, like he'd suggested earlier.
He needs that room to breathe, they both probably do, but he's catching Steven's mouth again before it's over, moving with him now that the pace isn't so frantic and they're riding the rest of it out together. There's no way he could have even begun to suspect that it would be this... amazing? Mind blowing? Even if he'd gotten over the impossible hurdle of considering that it could actually happen.
His fingers do loosen slightly in Steven's hair, just so he can stroke through it instead. ]
[Oh-- that was bloody amazing. Steven isn't even sure if any words he's got could describe just how good he feels. This isn't something he entertained. They were in the same body, yeah? How could it ever work?
Apparently up in the noggin, it worked out blissfully. He breathlessly kisses back, feels his muscles tremble as he tries to hold himself up right. All he really wants to do is melt into Marc and not move again... but that'd be a bad idea, messy as they are.
At least for long.
But that doesn't mean he's not practically purring at the attention, tipping into those fingers, nipping carefully at Marc's lower lip.]
[ Marc doesn't really care that it's messy. They can worry about that later, probably after a shower, but for now he's not even thinking about moving. At least not in a way that would take him out of bed, or away from Steven, since he does shift to roll back onto his side, tugging Steven right along with him so that he doesn't have to worry about propping himself up. Not that he couldn't have just collapsed onto Marc's chest, he wouldn't mind. ]
Better than good.
[ It's too tempting to resist the urge to kiss him again, when Steven's making noises like that, and while it's slower than the more urgent kisses that happened in the middle of that it's still pretty obvious that he's not having any second thoughts now that they're here. ]
I think I could get used to you helping me like that.
[ Which is actually an understatement, but Steven knows what he's like. ]
[Steven hits the bed with a breathless chuckle, riding too high on the afterglow to care about anything else beyond... well. Marc. Marc who's kissing him, Marc who looks-- actually happier than usual. He smiles warmly when they part, looking at Marc with not very well disguised reverence almost.
He feels like the luckiest bloke right now and he can't exactly hide it.]
Oh, yeah. Any time, mate.
[He tips in again to press another kiss to Marc's lips, a little more playfully.] Tonight was brilliant.
[ Steven knows as well as anyone at this point that Marc tends to be tense and stoic, keeping his own feelings at arm's length - at least - let alone anyone else who might have emotional attachments to him. But he's also seen Marc let that slip when he finally relented and let Steven in, and this? This is new.
And good. A combination that would have, in the past, probably sent him in the opposite direction as fast as possible, but there's no running away from Steven. And more importantly he doesn't want to, not now.
Maybe he's learned how to relax, a little, sometimes. But it's a whole different look when he's fully sinking into that afterglow too, lazily affectionate and... happy, yeah, that's the word. The one that has him smiling against Steven's lips, his eyes briefly closed, one hand slowly skimming down along Steven's back. ]
I bet I could think of something to top that. For when you want to help some more.
[He shifts a little, sliding his hand up to brush through Marc's hair affectionately, pushing it back where it's gotten a bit mussed. Oh, not even a little bit of him wants to move from this spot. At least not for a long time.]
[ With anyone else Marc would assume that a question like that was teasing, and Steven can tease when he's in a sassy mood, but he's also very sincere and still very new to all this. Maybe he's got some ideas, maybe he doesn't, either way Marc doesn't mind being the one to introduce him to these things. He didn't realize it before, but he would have been jealous if someone else had. Just as well that Steven hadn't been looking, not really.
He hums, content to lean into the lazy affection. But he's not really tired, not yet. ]
I was thinking that you could ride me next time, if you wanted to. [ Of course he thought about it, more or less since the moment they kissed and gave up on any pretense of resisting... whatever this is. He's pretty sure that Steven will get the idea, whether or not he's thought about actually doing it before tonight. ] Or if you wanted to lean back and let me ease you into it, I could do that.
[ They've got the trust for that now, don't they? Steven knows he wouldn't hurt him. ]
[Oh, there is an undeniable flush of color that comes back to his face, a flutter of nerves that twist in his stomach as he tries to think of how that will work. Logically, he knows. He knows it will work. Just-- you know. They're not quite tiny, are they?
And now he's rather curious if they've-- if Marc has done that before. That particular act.
For any nerves that crop up, it's a bit flattering, innit? That Marc wants to see him-- do that. He doesn't think he's too awkward or clumsy. He-- doesn't think it's too odd to watch, that Steven is just a much less handsome version of himself. Hopefully, anyway.
He smiles in the end and leans up to to kiss the corner of Marc's mouth.]
I-- I can want both, yeah? I think I want everything with you, love.
[And in the end, he does trust Marc. He'd never hurt him intentionally.]
[ Steven's expression is easy to read, that's nothing new even if seeing it from this perspective is different, Marc can practically hear the questions and considerations that must be causing him to blush like that. It's cute and earnest, so right up Steven's alley, and Marc never thought that kind of thing would be aimed at him.
Which also means that affectionate nicknames, as much as he's gotten used to casually being called love by friendly British women, land differently from Steven now. He's almost not sure how to react to it, though Steven could call him just about anything he wanted and it wouldn't ruin the afterglow at this point, but it settles almost as quickly. He's less expressive, at least with his words, but he responds with another soft, lingering kiss that says a lot for him. ]
Yeah, you can. [ He tips his head up underneath Steven's jaw, mouth nuzzling at his throat. Speaking of all the things they want— ] Are you tired?
[ He's torn, because on one hand he can easily see them stumbling into the shower and then settling right back in bed with a clean blanket. On the other he's not sure that they won't wake up in the same body again and miss their chance at it. ]
[The kiss has him practically melting. He's used to Marc being quiet. He's used to rambling on and, at times, only getting a grunt or two in response. He knows Marc is listening, that's what matters. And he knows Marc cares about him, which matters even more.
He lets breathes out when lips move back to his neck, tilting his head back to let Marc have more access to his throat. Thrilling at the contact, at the attention he's being lavished with. He could be happy with curling up with Marc and sleeping after cleaning up a bit, but--
Part of him is worried about not getting this again, not getting to explore everything he's able to with Marc, at least in a single night. So there's a careful shake of his head no as his hand slips up to tangle through Marc's hair.]
Not at all. [He does shift a little, rolling to his back properly, tugging Marc along the way.]
[ Marc moves easily with him, settling in between Steven's legs this time, and it's only a slight hitch from breathing against Steven's throat to kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin there. It's more than slightly tempting to leave an intentional mark there — has he already left some, in the heat of the moment? he's not sure, it's all been a rush, but he wouldn't be shocked if he has — and though he'll stop just short it's mostly to see how Steven will react to a slightly sharper bite first, one that Marc will soothe over with his tongue immediately afterward. ]
Not yet.
[ They're both used to being sleep deprived anyway, and lately they've been more well-rested than usual thanks mostly to the fact that they're living much more harmoniously than they were before, and even if he was completely exhausted he wouldn't admit to that now. Not when he wants more, while they have the chance, and obviously Steven feels the same way.
There is a small tube of lube next to the bed. He hadn't put it there with even a vague notion of using it for anything except jerking himself off when the mood hit, and when Steven wasn't paying attention. ]
It'll be a lot the first time. [ Because no, he's not small. ] As long as you know you don't have to push yourself, we can see how it feels for you.
[Heat is only rushing back to his face as Marc settles between his legs, putting them-- even closer together again again. Somehow, this feels even more intimate, when he draws his legs up to bracket Marc's hips, when he offers him his neck. He's sure he already has some marks left behind, but it doesn't-- matter to him. The bite draws out a gasp, a quiet noise that's definitely more pleased with the pinch of pain that he feels.
His heart feels like it's hammering in his chest. He feels nervous. But more than that, he's overwhelmed with the desire to push through regardless, an undeniable ache for the man above him. His hands slide up to tangle through Marc's hair, fingertips raking over his scalp as he looks down at him through half-lidded eyes. Beautiful. Marc is absolutely beautiful.]
I-- I want to, Marc. [He insists, worrying his lower lip. He wants to, but-- he's nervous. He has no idea how this will feel, how it will even possibly work. But he's eager and he's hoping like moments ago, enthusiasm will make up for the lack of experience.]
It's okay, yeah? I trust you. [He knows Marc wouldn't intentionally hurt him, not really. Well-- minus the punch that one time, but he knows Marc wouldn't hurt him during this. And he wants it. He does. He can't think of anyone else he'd be comfortable with enough to do this.
He worries his lip a little harder, biting until it hurts before he ventures--]
[ This never would have been possible before they came to a mutual understanding, of themselves and their situation, even if they'd both wanted to he doubts that either of them would have admitted to it. But maybe since they've let go of all that pointless resentment it was only a matter of time before they got here eventually, though obviously it would have been different if they were sharing the same body still. Not impossible, not entirely, but... tricky. Anyway that's a problem he'll think about when they have to deal with it, for now they don't.
Steven trusts him. And he wants it. So they'll go with it, and see where it takes them, since that's just how they're managing. One step at a time. ]
Yes. [ He has to push himself up for a minute to reach over to fumble around for the lube. He'd tucked it away into the drawer so Steven wouldn't immediately see it and start asking him awkward questions, but it's not hard to get to.
When he settles back on his knees in front of Steven there's a smile tugging at his lips, as he slicks up his fingers and reaches to give Steven a gentle, slick stroke, just to get him used to the lube. They don't need to rush this part either. ]
You asking because you wanna know if I know what I'm doing or because you're wondering if there was another guy?
[Things have changed a lot -- for the better, he likes to think. Whatever worries or problems linger, Steven thinks they can work on them together. He can't fathom his life without Marc now after all. He wouldn't even want to. Especially now, while they're tangled up in each other between the sheets, planning all sorts of things he couldn't have ever even dreamed of in his life before this.
Marc looks almost breathtaking right now, smiling in ways he doesn't usually allow himself to. If he was thinking of anything else beyond what they're doing, what he wants so badly, maybe he'd question about the lube.
But all he can do is gasp as slick fingers move over him, fingers nervously reaching for Marc, just wanting to touch, to hold on. He always feels calmer with Marc there after all, like nothing can happen -- or maybe like at least they've got a shot of handling it together, yeah?]
Mmnh... [There's a bit of a unhappy grunt at the question.] Was there?
[He can't tell if there's a pang of jealousy at the idea that Marc-- has had a full life of dating, even getting married and Steven's never been afforded that option because of his 'sleep disorder' and missing time, or if it's the idea of anyone else touching Marc.
Which is silly, and he knows it. But it seems Marc isn't the only half with a little bit of a jealous streak, even if he knows he has no real right. It's ultimately Marc's body in the end, and he can share it if he wants.
[ Marc's still close enough that he's within Steven's reach, and when he does stretch out for him he shifts to lean in even closer. He doesn't need to be in any particular position right now anyway, since he's just using his fingers so far, working on getting Steven comfortably slicked up and easing him into that as much as anything else, just so there's not an unpleasant kind of shock when he starts touching him with those slick fingers in places he's probably not used to exploring.
So it's not really fair that he doesn't have to contend with any jealousy, as far as anyone else capturing Steven's attention, that is. Yeah, he was mad when Steven kissed Layla, but that outburst had been just as much about the whole situation unraveling in front of him as it had been about jealousy. Oddly enough he doesn't feel that jealousy at knowing that Layla likes him, but he's completely sure that he wouldn't like even the idea of anyone else even going so far as to kiss him.
Maybe that's something they can talk about later. Maybe. Not now, when it wouldn't exactly do good things for the mood. ]
Not like this. [ Another thing they can talk about later, if Steven insists, but it's good enough for him to admit that he's tried a few things with men before, just nothing that had anything like a real connection. Definitely nothing that made him feel like this.
Because it's not just about blowing off steam with Steven, not that there's any good way to articulate how every touch is different, how he's never kissed a man the way he's kissed Steven, several times now, the way he wants to again. But it'll have to wait a bit longer, because he's rubbing and pressing further down, slipping just a fingertip inside at first. He'll have to settle for kissing Steven's chest for now. ]
[Steven isn't sure he wants to talk about that entirely awkward business, really. He-- likes Layla. A lot. How couldn't he? She's wonderful. Beautiful, smart, funny. She's had his back without question. He's not sure she sees... him though. Not just an extension of Marc.
But absolutely sees him though. Looks at him in ways that are making his heart flutter right now, making him feel warm in so many different ways. He's nervous when slick fingers make their way between his legs, but the kisses, the reassurances-- he half melts just from those.]
Yeah? [Nothing like that. That's enough to quell the uncertainty, the jealousy prickling at him. He trusts Marc when he says that, because for all of Marc's lies, for all the things he's done that Steven is still angry about... he knows he's important to Marc. Enough that he'd walk away from the Field of Reeds, even. Bloody fool. Still, there's a happy hum of noise as he lifts his hands to brush through Marc's hair, soothing, affectionate.]
Ah-- that's... [HE squirms a bit when Marc slips inside of him there. It feels. Not unpleasant. But it feels strange.]
A bit weird, innit? [He's not telling him to stop though. He just needs a moment to get used to feeling the pressure There, the way muscles almost instinctively want to clench down against the intrusion regardless of how Steven welcomed it. He manages to draw in a breath, force himself to stay relaxed. No easy feat for Steven Grant, but...]
[ Marc would never lie about this. Would he avoid awkward questions that would ruin the mood? Absolutely, but there aren't actually all that many of those, because as he's said, there wasn't a man in his life who made him feel anything like the way he feels about Steven, both in general and especially right now when they're tangled up together so intimately.
As intimately as two people possibly can be. He can't even think back to brief, often awkward situations with another man when he's so caught up in watching the way Steven moves with every touch, so sensitive but keeping himself completely and utterly open to everything Marc wants to do to him because he wants it all, doesn't he? Anything and everything Marc has to give him.
He chuckles at the question, dipping his head lower to press a slow kiss to Steven's nipple as he slowly works in a little deeper. He probably won't have to go much farther before he rubs up against a spot that gets a lot better. ]
Yeah, it's like that at first. [ He's got time to learn how to relax with it, Marc isn't impatient. He's going to make a very thorough job of learning where all of Steven's most sensitive spots are, paying more devoted attention to the ones that make him moan and offering a gentler touch with the ones that are more likely to make him squirm, and he'll only slip in more than one finger when he knows Steven can handle it. ] Just tell me if you need me to slow down.
[It really isn't taking him any time at all to get back into this, whatever they've just done. The way Marc looks above him, the attention that's all on him... he feels like he could melt from the inside out. He is absolutely open. He wants to give Marc everything he can. He wants to take everything Marc is willing to give him.
Maybe it's weird or wrong, but it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Not when his fingers tangle through Marc's hair or lips brush his skin. Certainly not when Marc seems to curl his finger and that awkward fullness fades into something far more pleasurable. There's a surprised gasp, a jerk... it takes everything in him to not awkward kick out a leg or fuss too much.]
Oh my days-- [His lips part and he tips his head back as he just-- adjusts to what Marc is doing. It won't even be so bad whenever he does slide in a second digit when Steven is far more looking forward to it, a little more convinced it can feel good... even if he's still a bit dubious about how Marc-- will fit in other ways.]
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Especially when Marc seems to be trusting him so completely, rolling back to let him touch as he wants. He shifts until he's hovering over Marc, one hand planted on the bed while the other-- slides down over his body appreciatively, adoringly.
He can't imagine stopping now, even if he has no bloody idea what he's doing exactly. Eyes dart up to meet Marc's briefly before he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the center of Marc's chest, just over his heart.]
Oh my days, Marc... How do I even start? There's-- so much.
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He has no doubt that Steven would try anything he asked for, and there probably isn't much that they wouldn't both like, it's just that some things are more involved than others. But if Steven needs some input on where to start, Marc's got an idea of his own. ]
You could start with taking your pants off.
[ Which might involve loosening his grip on Steven's hair, but as soon as he's equally naked Marc won't waste any time in drawing him right back up, close enough for another kiss, and, just as importantly, straddling him in a way that lets them grind up against each other without any clothing in the way. ]
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[There's an almost coy smile at that suggestion. It seems silly to be self-conscious, but-- he is. Just a bit. There's no way to hide his obvious arousal once he starts working his sleep bottoms and underwear down and off. There's a rather obvious proof of it that springs free of the confinement of his garments, brings more heat to his face.
But he throws the clothes somewhere off the side of the bed before he's pulled back up for another kiss and tangled back into Marc, their bodies close enough that they move together, skin against skin, in a way that draws a desperate whine from his lips. Oh, that's-- so bloody fantastic.]
Marc-- [There's a careful nip to Marc's lower lip.] I don't know how I will ever get enough of you...
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Marc's still lingering at his mouth, sighing softly when those teeth catch on his lip, because even the small things are doing a lot for him here, but he's also slipping a hand down between them, carefully wrapping his fingers around Steven's cock, his thumb rubbing against his own. While it's not the most precise angle it works well enough.
Good enough to encourage Steven to thrust into that grip, it won't take much to start slicking things up a little in the process. He's already going to be partially muffling a groan against Steven's mouth before they've even gotten that far though. ]
We can work on that.
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And oh-- oh<.i>. The warmth of that hand around him. It draws aw himper from him, makes him jerk forward before he can even stop himself. It seems to be what Marc wants anyway.]
Marc-- Marc... [His voice is pinched, strained as he pulls away to try to catch his breath, ducking his head. He can't quite bring himself to look at Marc. He feels so overwhelmed, out of control. It's equal parts amazing and terrifying.
And he doesn't want it to end. If he could stay tangled up with Marc the rest of the night, he thinks he'd be a happy man.
He rolls his hips forward, instinctively seeking out more friction as he presses his lips along Marc's neck, down to his collar, tentative kisses and nips scattered eagerly along his skin between muffled moans and breathless pants.]
Oh my days-- Marc...
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More noises follow, groans and softer grunts that express just how good it feels when Steven's rocking into it. He is too, he just has less leverage from his position. That's fine, it's just as good to encourage Steven into it, squeezing and stroking in time with his movements, while he feels his way into a rhythm, while his other hand drags over Steven's back and into his hair, gripping and digging in along the way, whatever he can do to keep him as close as possible.
He's got a feeling that Steven won't be able to hold onto any kind of self-control for long at this rate, but he doesn't mind that either. He's chasing whatever feels good, more for Steven than for himself, until they're both fully exhausted. ]
Just like that, Steven. Fuck... [ He's probably going to leave at least a couple of obvious marks on Steven's neck, where he's kissed and sucked a little too hard. He can't help it, he's distracted. ] Don't stop.
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His fantasies are never something to dwell on, whatever they may be, but... this may be better than any fantasy he's ever had. The way Marc says his name, the way he encourages him... oh, but it draws a whimper out of him. Needy, wanton... even the fingers tugging into his hair, pulling hard enough that Steven can feel bloody fantastic right now.
Marc-- [Words are failing him. He can't convey just how amazing Marc looks, how good his mouth feels on his skin. It's all going to be over embarrassingly fast and he knows it. The way his muscles are tightening, the way the tension and pleasure builds and leaves his movements less coordinated and more urgent. He can't stop though.]
Marc... Marc, please-- [He doesn't even know what he's begging for, what he wants. More of this, maybe. Maybe he doesn't want it to ever end or stop. He just wants to be able to tangle into Marc and never lose it. Lose this. It's wrong and selfish, maybe, but it's all he can think of right now.]
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It'll do more than make them both slick, it'll make a mess that they'll have to deal with sooner or later, though that's the last thing on his mind as he thrusts himself up into it with a low, rough groan. It wouldn't be anything like this if he'd taken things into his own hands, like he'd suggested earlier.
He needs that room to breathe, they both probably do, but he's catching Steven's mouth again before it's over, moving with him now that the pace isn't so frantic and they're riding the rest of it out together. There's no way he could have even begun to suspect that it would be this... amazing? Mind blowing? Even if he'd gotten over the impossible hurdle of considering that it could actually happen.
His fingers do loosen slightly in Steven's hair, just so he can stroke through it instead. ]
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Apparently up in the noggin, it worked out blissfully. He breathlessly kisses back, feels his muscles tremble as he tries to hold himself up right. All he really wants to do is melt into Marc and not move again... but that'd be a bad idea, messy as they are.
At least for long.
But that doesn't mean he's not practically purring at the attention, tipping into those fingers, nipping carefully at Marc's lower lip.]
Good?
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Better than good.
[ It's too tempting to resist the urge to kiss him again, when Steven's making noises like that, and while it's slower than the more urgent kisses that happened in the middle of that it's still pretty obvious that he's not having any second thoughts now that they're here. ]
I think I could get used to you helping me like that.
[ Which is actually an understatement, but Steven knows what he's like. ]
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He feels like the luckiest bloke right now and he can't exactly hide it.]
Oh, yeah. Any time, mate.
[He tips in again to press another kiss to Marc's lips, a little more playfully.] Tonight was brilliant.
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And good. A combination that would have, in the past, probably sent him in the opposite direction as fast as possible, but there's no running away from Steven. And more importantly he doesn't want to, not now.
Maybe he's learned how to relax, a little, sometimes. But it's a whole different look when he's fully sinking into that afterglow too, lazily affectionate and... happy, yeah, that's the word. The one that has him smiling against Steven's lips, his eyes briefly closed, one hand slowly skimming down along Steven's back. ]
I bet I could think of something to top that. For when you want to help some more.
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[He shifts a little, sliding his hand up to brush through Marc's hair affectionately, pushing it back where it's gotten a bit mussed. Oh, not even a little bit of him wants to move from this spot. At least not for a long time.]
And what something else could you think of, Marc?
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He hums, content to lean into the lazy affection. But he's not really tired, not yet. ]
I was thinking that you could ride me next time, if you wanted to. [ Of course he thought about it, more or less since the moment they kissed and gave up on any pretense of resisting... whatever this is. He's pretty sure that Steven will get the idea, whether or not he's thought about actually doing it before tonight. ] Or if you wanted to lean back and let me ease you into it, I could do that.
[ They've got the trust for that now, don't they? Steven knows he wouldn't hurt him. ]
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And now he's rather curious if they've-- if Marc has done that before. That particular act.
For any nerves that crop up, it's a bit flattering, innit? That Marc wants to see him-- do that. He doesn't think he's too awkward or clumsy. He-- doesn't think it's too odd to watch, that Steven is just a much less handsome version of himself. Hopefully, anyway.
He smiles in the end and leans up to to kiss the corner of Marc's mouth.]
I-- I can want both, yeah? I think I want everything with you, love.
[And in the end, he does trust Marc. He'd never hurt him intentionally.]
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Which also means that affectionate nicknames, as much as he's gotten used to casually being called love by friendly British women, land differently from Steven now. He's almost not sure how to react to it, though Steven could call him just about anything he wanted and it wouldn't ruin the afterglow at this point, but it settles almost as quickly. He's less expressive, at least with his words, but he responds with another soft, lingering kiss that says a lot for him. ]
Yeah, you can. [ He tips his head up underneath Steven's jaw, mouth nuzzling at his throat. Speaking of all the things they want— ] Are you tired?
[ He's torn, because on one hand he can easily see them stumbling into the shower and then settling right back in bed with a clean blanket. On the other he's not sure that they won't wake up in the same body again and miss their chance at it. ]
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He lets breathes out when lips move back to his neck, tilting his head back to let Marc have more access to his throat. Thrilling at the contact, at the attention he's being lavished with. He could be happy with curling up with Marc and sleeping after cleaning up a bit, but--
Part of him is worried about not getting this again, not getting to explore everything he's able to with Marc, at least in a single night. So there's a careful shake of his head no as his hand slips up to tangle through Marc's hair.]
Not at all. [He does shift a little, rolling to his back properly, tugging Marc along the way.]
Are you?
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Not yet.
[ They're both used to being sleep deprived anyway, and lately they've been more well-rested than usual thanks mostly to the fact that they're living much more harmoniously than they were before, and even if he was completely exhausted he wouldn't admit to that now. Not when he wants more, while they have the chance, and obviously Steven feels the same way.
There is a small tube of lube next to the bed. He hadn't put it there with even a vague notion of using it for anything except jerking himself off when the mood hit, and when Steven wasn't paying attention. ]
It'll be a lot the first time. [ Because no, he's not small. ] As long as you know you don't have to push yourself, we can see how it feels for you.
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His heart feels like it's hammering in his chest. He feels nervous. But more than that, he's overwhelmed with the desire to push through regardless, an undeniable ache for the man above him. His hands slide up to tangle through Marc's hair, fingertips raking over his scalp as he looks down at him through half-lidded eyes. Beautiful. Marc is absolutely beautiful.]
I-- I want to, Marc. [He insists, worrying his lower lip. He wants to, but-- he's nervous. He has no idea how this will feel, how it will even possibly work. But he's eager and he's hoping like moments ago, enthusiasm will make up for the lack of experience.]
It's okay, yeah? I trust you. [He knows Marc wouldn't intentionally hurt him, not really. Well-- minus the punch that one time, but he knows Marc wouldn't hurt him during this. And he wants it. He does. He can't think of anyone else he'd be comfortable with enough to do this.
He worries his lip a little harder, biting until it hurts before he ventures--]
Have you--? Um. Done this, I mean. Before.
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Steven trusts him. And he wants it. So they'll go with it, and see where it takes them, since that's just how they're managing. One step at a time. ]
Yes. [ He has to push himself up for a minute to reach over to fumble around for the lube. He'd tucked it away into the drawer so Steven wouldn't immediately see it and start asking him awkward questions, but it's not hard to get to.
When he settles back on his knees in front of Steven there's a smile tugging at his lips, as he slicks up his fingers and reaches to give Steven a gentle, slick stroke, just to get him used to the lube. They don't need to rush this part either. ]
You asking because you wanna know if I know what I'm doing or because you're wondering if there was another guy?
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Marc looks almost breathtaking right now, smiling in ways he doesn't usually allow himself to. If he was thinking of anything else beyond what they're doing, what he wants so badly, maybe he'd question about the lube.
But all he can do is gasp as slick fingers move over him, fingers nervously reaching for Marc, just wanting to touch, to hold on. He always feels calmer with Marc there after all, like nothing can happen -- or maybe like at least they've got a shot of handling it together, yeah?]
Mmnh... [There's a bit of a unhappy grunt at the question.] Was there?
[He can't tell if there's a pang of jealousy at the idea that Marc-- has had a full life of dating, even getting married and Steven's never been afforded that option because of his 'sleep disorder' and missing time, or if it's the idea of anyone else touching Marc.
Which is silly, and he knows it. But it seems Marc isn't the only half with a little bit of a jealous streak, even if he knows he has no real right. It's ultimately Marc's body in the end, and he can share it if he wants.
At least right now? He's sharing it with Steven.]
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So it's not really fair that he doesn't have to contend with any jealousy, as far as anyone else capturing Steven's attention, that is. Yeah, he was mad when Steven kissed Layla, but that outburst had been just as much about the whole situation unraveling in front of him as it had been about jealousy. Oddly enough he doesn't feel that jealousy at knowing that Layla likes him, but he's completely sure that he wouldn't like even the idea of anyone else even going so far as to kiss him.
Maybe that's something they can talk about later. Maybe. Not now, when it wouldn't exactly do good things for the mood. ]
Not like this. [ Another thing they can talk about later, if Steven insists, but it's good enough for him to admit that he's tried a few things with men before, just nothing that had anything like a real connection. Definitely nothing that made him feel like this.
Because it's not just about blowing off steam with Steven, not that there's any good way to articulate how every touch is different, how he's never kissed a man the way he's kissed Steven, several times now, the way he wants to again. But it'll have to wait a bit longer, because he's rubbing and pressing further down, slipping just a fingertip inside at first. He'll have to settle for kissing Steven's chest for now. ]
Nothing like this.
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But absolutely sees him though. Looks at him in ways that are making his heart flutter right now, making him feel warm in so many different ways. He's nervous when slick fingers make their way between his legs, but the kisses, the reassurances-- he half melts just from those.]
Yeah? [Nothing like that. That's enough to quell the uncertainty, the jealousy prickling at him. He trusts Marc when he says that, because for all of Marc's lies, for all the things he's done that Steven is still angry about... he knows he's important to Marc. Enough that he'd walk away from the Field of Reeds, even. Bloody fool. Still, there's a happy hum of noise as he lifts his hands to brush through Marc's hair, soothing, affectionate.]
Ah-- that's... [HE squirms a bit when Marc slips inside of him there. It feels. Not unpleasant. But it feels strange.]
A bit weird, innit? [He's not telling him to stop though. He just needs a moment to get used to feeling the pressure There, the way muscles almost instinctively want to clench down against the intrusion regardless of how Steven welcomed it. He manages to draw in a breath, force himself to stay relaxed. No easy feat for Steven Grant, but...]
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As intimately as two people possibly can be. He can't even think back to brief, often awkward situations with another man when he's so caught up in watching the way Steven moves with every touch, so sensitive but keeping himself completely and utterly open to everything Marc wants to do to him because he wants it all, doesn't he? Anything and everything Marc has to give him.
He chuckles at the question, dipping his head lower to press a slow kiss to Steven's nipple as he slowly works in a little deeper. He probably won't have to go much farther before he rubs up against a spot that gets a lot better. ]
Yeah, it's like that at first. [ He's got time to learn how to relax with it, Marc isn't impatient. He's going to make a very thorough job of learning where all of Steven's most sensitive spots are, paying more devoted attention to the ones that make him moan and offering a gentler touch with the ones that are more likely to make him squirm, and he'll only slip in more than one finger when he knows Steven can handle it. ] Just tell me if you need me to slow down.
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Maybe it's weird or wrong, but it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Not when his fingers tangle through Marc's hair or lips brush his skin. Certainly not when Marc seems to curl his finger and that awkward fullness fades into something far more pleasurable. There's a surprised gasp, a jerk... it takes everything in him to not awkward kick out a leg or fuss too much.]
Oh my days-- [His lips part and he tips his head back as he just-- adjusts to what Marc is doing. It won't even be so bad whenever he does slide in a second digit when Steven is far more looking forward to it, a little more convinced it can feel good... even if he's still a bit dubious about how Marc-- will fit in other ways.]
Oh, I don't need that at all...
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