[Steven isn't-- he's not sure how he sees himself anymore. He was made up, by Marc, to be quite possibly the worst childhood protector of all time. He's not brave or tough, not like Marc turned out to be. He's awkward and no one likes him and--
Okay, he has a new skillset now, but look at what it cost them to get it.
One day, Marc won't really need his imaginary stress ball anymore. He'll get better -- Steven has to believe that, even if the idea of disappearing scares the life out of him. But until then-- he can have this. He can... be there.
He can take care of Marc, and be happy to spend some time with him.]
[Oh...it's a good thing Marc doesn't know Steven thinks things like that, because his heart would fucking shatter. He was willing to spend eternity frozen in sand with Steven rather than be without him, and it doesn't even fucking matter if he needs him, because he wants him. He chooses him. And he can't imagine ever not wanting or choosing him.
But Marc doesn't know Steven has those thoughts, so he goes about planning an embarrassingly stereotypical evening. Dinner, flowers...candles? Shit, why not go all the way with it? Marc's never been with the kind of person who's into flowers and candlelight, but Steven seems like that type.
Not that he's "with" Steven. He's not even quite sure what his intention is as he walks home from the flower shop. Every time he passes a bin, he's tempted to throw the bouquet in it. Just picking up food would be smarter. Picking up dinner doesn't come with connotations in and of itself. But when paired with flowers? That could send a message he's not sure he's ready to send yet, and he's not sure Steven is ready to receive yet.
But something keeps the flowers in his hand, and he puts them in water when he gets home.]
[It's a good thing he has no intention of bringing it up right now precisely because right now? Marc needs him. He walked away from bloody paradise for him. And Steven is so-- humbled and grateful and... speechless that anyone would do that for him, especially when Marc had a shot at real peace. True peace.
And he's not even aware of the effort Marc is going through outside. When he said dinner, Steven naturally just assumed some takeaway and a night in front of the telly or reading a book or two with Marc.]
[Marc is...nervous. He's jumped out of a fucking airplane, but when it comes to matters of the heart, oh that's what scares him.
The table's set with the flowers in the middle. There are unscented candles burning (and they have scented candles, too, and Marc likes those, but the scent could mess with the flavors of the food--not that the scent of the flowers wouldn't).
And then there's Marc, sitting down at the table, scrolling mindlessly through headlines on his phone just so he has something to do while he waits.]
[What Steven expected was just-- dinner. some food cartons and Marc sprawled out somewhere comfortable, ready to eat. He expected a nice evening, sure, but what he gets has him stopping abruptly as he comes out of the bathroom, eyebrows climbing up to his hairline.
He suddenly-- well, he's glad he cleaned himself up a bit in the bathroom. Changed clothes, tried to tame his mess of curls. Because that feels like the minimal amount of effort compared to-- what Marc did. He looks around at the candles and the flowers, and the set table... wringing his hands in a mixture of surprise and nervousness.]
Marc?
[This is certainly not a friendly dinner, is it? Unless Steven has strange notions about what friendly is, not having had very many at all in his life... but he thinks he's quite right on this one. Marc set up a-- a date? He hasn't been on one in so very long. The last attempt was the lady at the museum that he rudely missed the date with, had to eat alone with his flowers and chocolates.
He smiles after a moment, finally coming closer to the table as a smile twitches at his lips.]
[Marc pockets his phone and stands when Steven says his name. He feels like pulling out Steven's chair might be a bit too much, a bit too corny even for Steven--he might as well kiss his hand, too, at that point. Still, he felt like some acknowledgement of Steven's presence was called for, so now Marc is...standing.
Hey, look, it's only a date if Steven wants it to be. But that's not fair, because it puts all the burden on Steven. Marc absolutely set up a date. But if that's not what Steven wants it to be, Marc could explain it away as just him trying to show that he appreciates Steven, too, ole buddy ole pal.
But it does help to settle some of Marc's nerves that Steven calls the setup "lovely."]
Hey. Glad you like it. [And now there's the tiniest hint of a smile on Marc's lips, too.]
[It's-- rare to see Marc smile. He's always so-- intense. And maybe just dealing with their current circumstances. Sometimes Steven feels a bit guilty. He was-- his purpose was protecting Marc, yeah? Even if he was bloody awful at it. Now he can't really let Marc hide away in their head when he needs it, not when they're both like this, separate.
But Marc is still being so nice to him. Thoughtful. It almost brings a tear to his eye, but he blinks it away before he makes a right fool of himself. It'll just make Marc feel awkward and Steven won't be able to even explain it exactly. Although he can't do much for the nervous fluttering in his stomach or the fact that-- he isn't sure how to do. This. He's not charming like Marc can be. He's awkward and he babbles too much and...
Okay. Okay. He can try at least.
He takes a step towards Marc and summons every bit of nerve he has to lean in and press a quick, chaste kiss to his cheek before he's pulling away to sit down just as quickly. It's just-- a quiet show of appreciation, yeah? Nothing weird about it.
Okay, maybe a little weird, when they're technically the same person. But their whole lives are weird and Steven is slowly getting adjusted to that.]
It smells wonderful too.
[Oh, his mouth is almost watering, just a tiny bit. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.]
[Marc hadn't expected a kiss--not even a small, brief, chaste one on the cheek. If the "it's lovely, Marc" didn't quite soothe his nerves, that little bit of affection did. Steven wouldn't be about to shut him down if he just kissed him, right? He lets his fingers brush briefly against Steven's.]
Yeah? Let's eat, then. [He's pretty hungry, too. He sits down and takes a sip of his water before picking up his silverware.] Can't take responsibility for the food smelling good. All I did was pick it up.
[There's never been much of a reason to cook for himself. Not when his job took him all over the place and he could try the local cuisine of wherever he was. Not that he has a job anymore. Oh God, they're going to be so poor. Well...no. He's still got skills and contacts he could use, if it came to that. But this is kind of his first real shot at normalcy ever, and he'd rather only fall back on old skills and contacts if he has to.]
[Shutting him down hasn't actually crossed his mind, even if he's not sure what this entails entirely. It's-- a talk they should have, but one that Steven isn't really keen on digging into yet.]
Have you ever cooked much before? [Steven isn't brilliant in the kitchen, but he knows how to d a few simple things -- all vegan that Marc likely wouldn't be very interested in, now that he thinks about it. Or maybe--
He just doesn't want to force anything on him, diet-wise. Steven is happy to make exceptions.
And well, Steven isn't too worried about money yet. He's putting in applications all over the place -- even if people seem a bit wary of hiring the bloke who vandalized a toilet. Understandably, maybe. But-- they'll figure it out. Somehow.]
[They don't have to have that talk. Really, any conversation could become one that doesn't have to be had, if you try hard enough. Or are Marc Spector. Marc Spector makes not having conversations seem effortless.]
Not much, no. Most of the stuff I can do is breakfast food and sandwiches. I'm really good at scrambling eggs, but I could probably learn to scramble tofu, too. How about you?
[Marc doesn't mind vegan food. He even likes a lot of it. The vegan Pad Thai he's chowing down on right now, for instance. He just wouldn't necessarily want to be 100% vegan 100% of the time. He likes his pizza with cheese and bagels with lox and he looks fucking good in leather. But he's been consciously trying not to bring animal products into the apartment lately and if Steven wanted to establish a boundary of no food that contains animal products in the apartment, Marc would find that very reasonable. It's not hard for him to go out if he feels like eating meat or something.
He's not getting rid of his leather, though. Fuck that.]
[Steven isn't inclined to do that really. Just because he's vegan doesn't mean he can't make allowances for Marc to be whatever he wants to be. He's not going to force anything on him -- he wouldn't do that. He'll just... not have any of it.
But even then, a little bit of cheese here and there won't hurt Steven. But steak-- now steak is entirely off-limits. Last time he ate steak, his world turned upside down and he won't risk it again.]
A few things, yeah. Um, I'm not amazing or anything, but maybe I can cook for you sometime, yeah?
[He'd like to do that, he thinks. Or maybe they can cook together. That'd be nice, yeah? Just the two of them together.
... He might also agree that Marc looks good in leather, even. Then again, Marc looks good in anything he wears.]
You know-- this may be the only successful date I've had. But I suppose it's a bit soon to say that, innit? [There's an almost humorous smile on his lips. Give him a chance, he can still muck it ups omehow.]
Yeah, still plenty of time for us to ruin things. [It's a joke. He thinks it's going well so far and doesn't think they'll ruin things.
But still...truth in every joke, right?]
Hope we don't though. [He nudges Steven's foot with his.]
I'd like that. Do I get to know what you'd wanna cook for me, or would you want it to be a surprise? [That's adorable. Marc admits to not being an amazing cook and he gets takeaway. Steven admits to not being an amazing cook and he offers to do it anyway. Marc might be brave in that stereotypical action hero way, but Steven is brave in all the ways Marc admires.]
[He hopes they don't either... and he doesn't intend to try, really. The nudge has him smiling a little bit, giving a shake of his head.]
Oh, no. It will be a surprise, mate. But I'll find a recipe that I think you'll love. [And maybe it won't turn out amazingly well, but he'll try his hardest anyway because Marc is certainly worth the effort.
And whatever burnt or cut fingers he gets along the way.
Of course, hopefully that means Marc won't laugh at him for it.]
[When has Steven ever known Marc to laugh? No, though, he'd appreciate the effort and maybe offer to play doctor if Steven did get hurt.]
I'm a sucker for Indian food. [And there are tons of vegan options, so it'd be really easy to find something they'd both like. But whatever Steven chooses will be fine, honestly.]
So. Are you saying you'd be up for a second date? [He just barely manages to hide a smile.]
I--feel like I should've asked you first, instead of just springin' it on you. It's just, the way you were talking and all--
[Steven nods and takes note of that -- Indian food. He can do that. He can definitely do that.
He's already going over options of what to make when-- oh! An easy smile comes to Steven's lips.]
You don't even have to ask, mate... [He's definitely ready for a second date and a third and--
He doesn't care if this is strange or unconventional when he sees Marc looking actually-- pleased? Happy?
He reaches slowly across the table to rest his hand on top of Marc's.]
... I care about you, Marc. So much. I just-- I'm happy. We get to be together still and try to make-- whatever this is work. [It could have ended so much worse in the Duat.]
[The Duat is...touchy. His nightmares of Steven being frozen in sand are becoming less frequent as time passes, but he still gets them sometimes. Whereas when they first got back, he had those nightmares almost every night, he now gets them only every few weeks. Is this how healing works? Marc wouldn't know. But it does give him hope that one day, the nightmares will subside entirely.
Marc's breath catches in his throat as he listens to Steven. When he remembers to breathe again, he nods a few times.] Yeah. Yeah. [He brings Steven's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of it before holding Steven's palm to his face.]
[He tries to not-- pry into Marc's nightmares unless he wants to talk about them himself. If he knew that it left-- that much of a lasting impact on Marc, he'd feel just awful. He already feels awful that Marc gave up literal paradise for him.
Flattered, yes, but absolutely awful. He had a chance at peace after all... true peace. Quiet in his head.
But that's all in the background when Marc kisses his hand like that, when he's cupping his face. Oh--
His heart skips a beat. And then he's just-- leaning in before he can overthink it or start getting too flustered to give Marc a kiss on the lips, properly. Should he? He doesn't know. But it also doesn't matter because it looks like Marc wants it, and Steven does too and--
Oh, it feels so much nicer than even Steven anticipated. Butterflies in his stomach and all.]
[Here's the thing, though, right: paradise is subjective. To some, the perfect beach is sunny and tropical and warm with white sands and azure waters. To others, the perfect beach is temperate with light grey skies and occasional sun breaks and waters so powerful that the beach is strewn with logs that were tossed ashore like toothpicks. It's not hard to guess which of the two camps Marc falls into.
But anyway, the point is: Marc can't imagine ever being able to experience peace or paradise knowing Steven was stuck in those sands. The Field of Reeds wouldn't have been "heaven" in those circumstances (whatever "heaven" means to a minimally practicing Jew who's always believed in focusing on the now and what happens in this life, but has now gotten a taste of what the afterlife is like). It only would've been "heaven" if Steven had been able to go with him.
Marc's a little embarrassed to whimper against Steven's lips, but he kisses him back.] Never thought I'd get to do that. [It's spoken quietly, their lips still just inches apart. His eyes drift down to Steven's mouth, and he goes in for another one.]
[This is-- honestly more perfect than Steven could have ever asked for. Sure, he'd have liked to see the Field of Reeds, to see Marc happy and at peace. But the way he whimpers against Steven's mouth sends a thrill through him, seems better than anything he could have ever hoped for.
It has him letting out a noise of his own as he just... pushes into that next kiss and slides a hand up to tangle loosely through Marc's hair, keeping him pulled in. Steven might not have much experience at all, but hopefully the enthusiasm makes up for it in the end, the genuine desire to make Marc feel wanted and loved and... important.
Because he is. Terribly so to Steven. He can't imagine his life without him at all.
He shifts himself as close as he can given their positions, lips tentatively parting to deepen the kiss-- if Marc wants.]
[The enthusiasm makes up for the lack of experience, sure, but so does the fact that this is...Steven. Steven is precious to Marc in ways he can't even begin to adequately express--in ways he doesn't even quite understand himself. And despite his insistence that his negative self-talk earlier was a joke, he really doesn't know how Steven got so attached to him, or how Steven could want to stay with him after learning everything he did in the Duat. But Steven does want him back, does care about him too, and Marc is so...humbled? Humbled and grateful.
He does break the kiss, though, sensing Steven's desire to deepen it. If things get more intense while they're sitting across the table from each other, they're going to knock stuff over.]
Hang on a sec.
[He takes a second to blow out the candles, then gets up and walks around the table to seat himself in Steven's lap. He searches Steven's face for any sign of discomfort.] Is this okay? [He also kind of doesn't want to go too far right now. He's usually not opposed to sex on a first date--especially if the date went well--but this is Steven, and he wants to take his time for once.]
[He hadn't-- been thinking of where this would go ultimately. Just that Marc was kissing him and he wouldn't trade it for anything, he thinks. He wouldn't trade making Marc feel good, loved, or feeling all of it returned.
Marc has his flaws, of course, and Steven-- is still upset over a lot of things that were kept from him. But how can he not love the man who's tried to protect him in his own way? Or who left paradise just so he didn't have to stay lost in the sands alone? Whatever issues they've got -- it doesn't matter in comparison to all of that.
His throat feels a bit dry when he's suddenly got a lapful of Marc, when he's looking up at him and placing his hands tentatively on his hips to help keep him balanced. It isn't bad at all, even if Steven isn't sure-- he's not sure he can go as far as he thinks Marc might want to go. Not yet. It's new and it's frightening, no matter how much he knows Marc wouldn't intentionally set out to hurt him.
But holding? Kissing? He can do that. He smiles as he slips his arms around Marc, holds him close.]
It's perfect. [There's a more genuine smile before he leans up to kiss Marc again, letting it linger a little further.]
[Marc nods, hiding his face against Steven's shoulder.] More than okay.
[He's actually happy. Stupidly happy. And genuine happiness is rare enough for Marc that his instinct is to covet it, to store it away whenever it does happen. Although, he might not need to do that right now. If he and Steven are going to be a long-term thing (however that thing is defined), he has a feeling genuine happiness is going to come his way a lot more often. And he's not sure how he'll handle that, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets there.
But, all that aside: he's sensing an undercurrent of...something beneath the happiness and affection Steven is offering outwardly. Uncertainty? Nerves? He wonders if it's because Steven isn't sure how far Marc's trying to get physically right now--if maybe he thinks Marc is trying to get in his pants. He feels the need to say something to set Steven at ease.]
Hey. Just so you know, I don't wanna go any further than this tonight, okay? Just kissing and cuddling. Wanna take things slow with you. [He presses a kiss to the crook of Steven's neck.] If you don't mind me asking: what's your experience like? I know you've at least kissed before me. [Marc's ex-wife, to be specific, and then Marc had punched him in the face. And now here he is in his lap, mouthing tender kisses against Steven's neck, feeling happier than he can ever remember being. Crazy how things change.] Anything else? Have you done more than kiss?
[Something relaxes at Marc's reassurance, at the way he curls in the way he does. It's just-- really sweet. Genuine. There's no lie he can detect in those words. He's more than okay. He seems happy. Steven's hands slide from his waist to wrap his arms around him properly, gripping loosely on to Marc's shirt.
He smiles warmly at the kissing, tilting his head a little bit to the side to give him more room.] Y-yeah? Are you sure?
[He doesn't want him to have to-- hold back, even if it's a lot. His face might heat up a bit when-- Marc questions that. He tilts his head back, lets out a soft noise at the attention. It's very nice.]
That didn't go so well for me, did it? [What, with the punch and all...]
Um, you know... I thought I should-- work on the whole cuffing myself to the bed every night first. No one wants to come back with the bloke who has to tie himself up every night so he doesn't go wandering off, do they? [He's rambling a bit, but he can't really help it. He's a little embarrassed.]
I suppose I know-- the kind you've got. Being married and all. And you're so handsome and charming and... [Marc must have a ton of experiences under his belt at this point, right?]
[Steven didn't outright answer the question, but Marc will take that as a no: Steven hasn't done more than kiss.] You know, you could've gone to their place, too. They probably didn't have bed cuffs. [But he suspects that's not the only factor at play when it comes to Steven's virginity, and he's not gonna push him for those other details.
Marc flinches when Steven brings up the punch.] Mmm. You got me back, though, didn't you? [When Steven punched him in the Duat. But he feels like he deserved that, while Steven didn't deserve getting punched for just being happy he kissed someone Marc had already decided to divorce. But at the time, the divorce wasn't finalized yet, and his business with Khonshu wasn't over yet, and all his feelings were. Complicated. Still are, a few months later, but at least now the divorce is official and their business with Khonshu is over and he feels like he can explore his feelings for Steven.
Steven seems to enjoy those neck kisses, so Marc keeps them coming.]
I've got a little experience, yeah. Just a little. [More than a little, of course. He's being flippant. But he supposes he can open up.] But Layla's the only person where there have really been feelings involved. So that's one of the reasons I wanna take things slow with you. You don't have much experience period, and I don't have much experience with--feelings being involved.
And then they'd wake up to me wandering who knows where, yeah? [It's-- not easy to sleep without the cuffs when he's fretting. And then-- he wouldn't want just random hookups or one night stands. He wanted something a bit more real than that. He always did.
But this-- feels very real. And very wonderful. He might frown a little at the reminder.] I'm-- sorry about that.
[He can't say it wasn't deserved after all the lies and hurtful things, but that doesn't mean Steven is happy about hitting Marc either. He's not really very happy about hitting anyone, ever, but least of all Marc. He's-- had enough of things like that.
And right now, Marc is making-- a very nice effort to open up. He smiles to himself before he reaches to cup Marc's face gently and guide him into a proper kiss.] Slow is-- good. [It makes him feel like Marc is really trying. It makes him feel like Marc thinks he's worth the effort while Steven might have been fretting that-- he's really nothing special. Marc could find someone else. He could-- try to work things out with Layla again, without Steven there to get in the way this time.
But instead they're here. Like this.]
... I love you, Marc.
[He really, really does. How could he not? Maybe it's too much to say, but-- it feels natural, and he's already been a sap today. He doesn't even expect to hear it back, not really.]
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Okay, he has a new skillset now, but look at what it cost them to get it.
One day, Marc won't really need his imaginary stress ball anymore. He'll get better -- Steven has to believe that, even if the idea of disappearing scares the life out of him. But until then-- he can have this. He can... be there.
He can take care of Marc, and be happy to spend some time with him.]
Place on the corner?
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But Marc doesn't know Steven has those thoughts, so he goes about planning an embarrassingly stereotypical evening. Dinner, flowers...candles? Shit, why not go all the way with it? Marc's never been with the kind of person who's into flowers and candlelight, but Steven seems like that type.
Not that he's "with" Steven. He's not even quite sure what his intention is as he walks home from the flower shop. Every time he passes a bin, he's tempted to throw the bouquet in it. Just picking up food would be smarter. Picking up dinner doesn't come with connotations in and of itself. But when paired with flowers? That could send a message he's not sure he's ready to send yet, and he's not sure Steven is ready to receive yet.
But something keeps the flowers in his hand, and he puts them in water when he gets home.]
Ok I picked up food
[Anyway, again: words aren't his strong suit.]
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And he's not even aware of the effort Marc is going through outside. When he said dinner, Steven naturally just assumed some takeaway and a night in front of the telly or reading a book or two with Marc.]
Coming!
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The table's set with the flowers in the middle. There are unscented candles burning (and they have scented candles, too, and Marc likes those, but the scent could mess with the flavors of the food--not that the scent of the flowers wouldn't).
And then there's Marc, sitting down at the table, scrolling mindlessly through headlines on his phone just so he has something to do while he waits.]
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He suddenly-- well, he's glad he cleaned himself up a bit in the bathroom. Changed clothes, tried to tame his mess of curls. Because that feels like the minimal amount of effort compared to-- what Marc did. He looks around at the candles and the flowers, and the set table... wringing his hands in a mixture of surprise and nervousness.]
Marc?
[This is certainly not a friendly dinner, is it? Unless Steven has strange notions about what friendly is, not having had very many at all in his life... but he thinks he's quite right on this one. Marc set up a-- a date? He hasn't been on one in so very long. The last attempt was the lady at the museum that he rudely missed the date with, had to eat alone with his flowers and chocolates.
He smiles after a moment, finally coming closer to the table as a smile twitches at his lips.]
Oh my days... it's lovely, Marc.
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Hey, look, it's only a date if Steven wants it to be. But that's not fair, because it puts all the burden on Steven. Marc absolutely set up a date. But if that's not what Steven wants it to be, Marc could explain it away as just him trying to show that he appreciates Steven, too, ole buddy ole pal.
But it does help to settle some of Marc's nerves that Steven calls the setup "lovely."]
Hey. Glad you like it. [And now there's the tiniest hint of a smile on Marc's lips, too.]
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But Marc is still being so nice to him. Thoughtful. It almost brings a tear to his eye, but he blinks it away before he makes a right fool of himself. It'll just make Marc feel awkward and Steven won't be able to even explain it exactly. Although he can't do much for the nervous fluttering in his stomach or the fact that-- he isn't sure how to do. This. He's not charming like Marc can be. He's awkward and he babbles too much and...
Okay. Okay. He can try at least.
He takes a step towards Marc and summons every bit of nerve he has to lean in and press a quick, chaste kiss to his cheek before he's pulling away to sit down just as quickly. It's just-- a quiet show of appreciation, yeah? Nothing weird about it.
Okay, maybe a little weird, when they're technically the same person. But their whole lives are weird and Steven is slowly getting adjusted to that.]
It smells wonderful too.
[Oh, his mouth is almost watering, just a tiny bit. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.]
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Yeah? Let's eat, then. [He's pretty hungry, too. He sits down and takes a sip of his water before picking up his silverware.] Can't take responsibility for the food smelling good. All I did was pick it up.
[There's never been much of a reason to cook for himself. Not when his job took him all over the place and he could try the local cuisine of wherever he was. Not that he has a job anymore. Oh God, they're going to be so poor. Well...no. He's still got skills and contacts he could use, if it came to that. But this is kind of his first real shot at normalcy ever, and he'd rather only fall back on old skills and contacts if he has to.]
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Have you ever cooked much before? [Steven isn't brilliant in the kitchen, but he knows how to d a few simple things -- all vegan that Marc likely wouldn't be very interested in, now that he thinks about it. Or maybe--
He just doesn't want to force anything on him, diet-wise. Steven is happy to make exceptions.
And well, Steven isn't too worried about money yet. He's putting in applications all over the place -- even if people seem a bit wary of hiring the bloke who vandalized a toilet. Understandably, maybe. But-- they'll figure it out. Somehow.]
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Not much, no. Most of the stuff I can do is breakfast food and sandwiches. I'm really good at scrambling eggs, but I could probably learn to scramble tofu, too. How about you?
[Marc doesn't mind vegan food. He even likes a lot of it. The vegan Pad Thai he's chowing down on right now, for instance. He just wouldn't necessarily want to be 100% vegan 100% of the time. He likes his pizza with cheese and bagels with lox and he looks fucking good in leather. But he's been consciously trying not to bring animal products into the apartment lately and if Steven wanted to establish a boundary of no food that contains animal products in the apartment, Marc would find that very reasonable. It's not hard for him to go out if he feels like eating meat or something.
He's not getting rid of his leather, though. Fuck that.]
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But even then, a little bit of cheese here and there won't hurt Steven. But steak-- now steak is entirely off-limits. Last time he ate steak, his world turned upside down and he won't risk it again.]
A few things, yeah. Um, I'm not amazing or anything, but maybe I can cook for you sometime, yeah?
[He'd like to do that, he thinks. Or maybe they can cook together. That'd be nice, yeah? Just the two of them together.
... He might also agree that Marc looks good in leather, even. Then again, Marc looks good in anything he wears.]
You know-- this may be the only successful date I've had. But I suppose it's a bit soon to say that, innit? [There's an almost humorous smile on his lips. Give him a chance, he can still muck it ups omehow.]
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But still...truth in every joke, right?]
Hope we don't though. [He nudges Steven's foot with his.]
I'd like that. Do I get to know what you'd wanna cook for me, or would you want it to be a surprise? [That's adorable. Marc admits to not being an amazing cook and he gets takeaway. Steven admits to not being an amazing cook and he offers to do it anyway. Marc might be brave in that stereotypical action hero way, but Steven is brave in all the ways Marc admires.]
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Oh, no. It will be a surprise, mate. But I'll find a recipe that I think you'll love. [And maybe it won't turn out amazingly well, but he'll try his hardest anyway because Marc is certainly worth the effort.
And whatever burnt or cut fingers he gets along the way.
Of course, hopefully that means Marc won't laugh at him for it.]
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and maybe offer to play doctor if Steven did get hurt.]I'm a sucker for Indian food. [And there are tons of vegan options, so it'd be really easy to find something they'd both like. But whatever Steven chooses will be fine, honestly.]
So. Are you saying you'd be up for a second date? [He just barely manages to hide a smile.]
I--feel like I should've asked you first, instead of just springin' it on you. It's just, the way you were talking and all--
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He's already going over options of what to make when-- oh! An easy smile comes to Steven's lips.]
You don't even have to ask, mate... [He's definitely ready for a second date and a third and--
He doesn't care if this is strange or unconventional when he sees Marc looking actually-- pleased? Happy?
He reaches slowly across the table to rest his hand on top of Marc's.]
... I care about you, Marc. So much. I just-- I'm happy. We get to be together still and try to make-- whatever this is work. [It could have ended so much worse in the Duat.]
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Marc's breath catches in his throat as he listens to Steven. When he remembers to breathe again, he nods a few times.] Yeah. Yeah. [He brings Steven's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of it before holding Steven's palm to his face.]
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Flattered, yes, but absolutely awful. He had a chance at peace after all... true peace. Quiet in his head.
But that's all in the background when Marc kisses his hand like that, when he's cupping his face. Oh--
His heart skips a beat. And then he's just-- leaning in before he can overthink it or start getting too flustered to give Marc a kiss on the lips, properly. Should he? He doesn't know. But it also doesn't matter because it looks like Marc wants it, and Steven does too and--
Oh, it feels so much nicer than even Steven anticipated. Butterflies in his stomach and all.]
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But anyway, the point is: Marc can't imagine ever being able to experience peace or paradise knowing Steven was stuck in those sands. The Field of Reeds wouldn't have been "heaven" in those circumstances (whatever "heaven" means to a minimally practicing Jew who's always believed in focusing on the now and what happens in this life, but has now gotten a taste of what the afterlife is like). It only would've been "heaven" if Steven had been able to go with him.
Marc's a little embarrassed to whimper against Steven's lips, but he kisses him back.] Never thought I'd get to do that. [It's spoken quietly, their lips still just inches apart. His eyes drift down to Steven's mouth, and he goes in for another one.]
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It has him letting out a noise of his own as he just... pushes into that next kiss and slides a hand up to tangle loosely through Marc's hair, keeping him pulled in. Steven might not have much experience at all, but hopefully the enthusiasm makes up for it in the end, the genuine desire to make Marc feel wanted and loved and... important.
Because he is. Terribly so to Steven. He can't imagine his life without him at all.
He shifts himself as close as he can given their positions, lips tentatively parting to deepen the kiss-- if Marc wants.]
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He does break the kiss, though, sensing Steven's desire to deepen it. If things get more intense while they're sitting across the table from each other, they're going to knock stuff over.]
Hang on a sec.
[He takes a second to blow out the candles, then gets up and walks around the table to seat himself in Steven's lap. He searches Steven's face for any sign of discomfort.] Is this okay? [He also kind of doesn't want to go too far right now. He's usually not opposed to sex on a first date--especially if the date went well--but this is Steven, and he wants to take his time for once.]
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Marc has his flaws, of course, and Steven-- is still upset over a lot of things that were kept from him. But how can he not love the man who's tried to protect him in his own way? Or who left paradise just so he didn't have to stay lost in the sands alone? Whatever issues they've got -- it doesn't matter in comparison to all of that.
His throat feels a bit dry when he's suddenly got a lapful of Marc, when he's looking up at him and placing his hands tentatively on his hips to help keep him balanced. It isn't bad at all, even if Steven isn't sure-- he's not sure he can go as far as he thinks Marc might want to go. Not yet. It's new and it's frightening, no matter how much he knows Marc wouldn't intentionally set out to hurt him.
But holding? Kissing? He can do that. He smiles as he slips his arms around Marc, holds him close.]
It's perfect. [There's a more genuine smile before he leans up to kiss Marc again, letting it linger a little further.]
Are you-- okay?
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[He's actually happy. Stupidly happy. And genuine happiness is rare enough for Marc that his instinct is to covet it, to store it away whenever it does happen. Although, he might not need to do that right now. If he and Steven are going to be a long-term thing (however that thing is defined), he has a feeling genuine happiness is going to come his way a lot more often. And he's not sure how he'll handle that, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets there.
But, all that aside: he's sensing an undercurrent of...something beneath the happiness and affection Steven is offering outwardly. Uncertainty? Nerves? He wonders if it's because Steven isn't sure how far Marc's trying to get physically right now--if maybe he thinks Marc is trying to get in his pants. He feels the need to say something to set Steven at ease.]
Hey. Just so you know, I don't wanna go any further than this tonight, okay? Just kissing and cuddling. Wanna take things slow with you. [He presses a kiss to the crook of Steven's neck.] If you don't mind me asking: what's your experience like? I know you've at least kissed before me. [Marc's ex-wife, to be specific, and then Marc had punched him in the face. And now here he is in his lap, mouthing tender kisses against Steven's neck, feeling happier than he can ever remember being. Crazy how things change.] Anything else? Have you done more than kiss?
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He smiles warmly at the kissing, tilting his head a little bit to the side to give him more room.] Y-yeah? Are you sure?
[He doesn't want him to have to-- hold back, even if it's a lot. His face might heat up a bit when-- Marc questions that. He tilts his head back, lets out a soft noise at the attention. It's very nice.]
That didn't go so well for me, did it? [What, with the punch and all...]
Um, you know... I thought I should-- work on the whole cuffing myself to the bed every night first. No one wants to come back with the bloke who has to tie himself up every night so he doesn't go wandering off, do they? [He's rambling a bit, but he can't really help it. He's a little embarrassed.]
I suppose I know-- the kind you've got. Being married and all. And you're so handsome and charming and... [Marc must have a ton of experiences under his belt at this point, right?]
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Marc flinches when Steven brings up the punch.] Mmm. You got me back, though, didn't you? [When Steven punched him in the Duat. But he feels like he deserved that, while Steven didn't deserve getting punched for just being happy he kissed someone Marc had already decided to divorce. But at the time, the divorce wasn't finalized yet, and his business with Khonshu wasn't over yet, and all his feelings were. Complicated. Still are, a few months later, but at least now the divorce is official and their business with Khonshu is over and he feels like he can explore his feelings for Steven.
Steven seems to enjoy those neck kisses, so Marc keeps them coming.]
I've got a little experience, yeah. Just a little. [More than a little, of course. He's being flippant. But he supposes he can open up.] But Layla's the only person where there have really been feelings involved. So that's one of the reasons I wanna take things slow with you. You don't have much experience period, and I don't have much experience with--feelings being involved.
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But this-- feels very real. And very wonderful. He might frown a little at the reminder.] I'm-- sorry about that.
[He can't say it wasn't deserved after all the lies and hurtful things, but that doesn't mean Steven is happy about hitting Marc either. He's not really very happy about hitting anyone, ever, but least of all Marc. He's-- had enough of things like that.
And right now, Marc is making-- a very nice effort to open up. He smiles to himself before he reaches to cup Marc's face gently and guide him into a proper kiss.] Slow is-- good. [It makes him feel like Marc is really trying. It makes him feel like Marc thinks he's worth the effort while Steven might have been fretting that-- he's really nothing special. Marc could find someone else. He could-- try to work things out with Layla again, without Steven there to get in the way this time.
But instead they're here. Like this.]
... I love you, Marc.
[He really, really does. How could he not? Maybe it's too much to say, but-- it feels natural, and he's already been a sap today. He doesn't even expect to hear it back, not really.]
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