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[It's a good thing he has no intention of bringing it up right now precisely because right now? Marc needs him. He walked away from bloody paradise for him. And Steven is so-- humbled and grateful and... speechless that anyone would do that for him, especially when Marc had a shot at real peace. True peace.
And he's not even aware of the effort Marc is going through outside. When he said dinner, Steven naturally just assumed some takeaway and a night in front of the telly or reading a book or two with Marc.]
Coming!
And he's not even aware of the effort Marc is going through outside. When he said dinner, Steven naturally just assumed some takeaway and a night in front of the telly or reading a book or two with Marc.]
Coming!
[Marc is...nervous. He's jumped out of a fucking airplane, but when it comes to matters of the heart, oh that's what scares him.
The table's set with the flowers in the middle. There are unscented candles burning (and they have scented candles, too, and Marc likes those, but the scent could mess with the flavors of the food--not that the scent of the flowers wouldn't).
And then there's Marc, sitting down at the table, scrolling mindlessly through headlines on his phone just so he has something to do while he waits.]
The table's set with the flowers in the middle. There are unscented candles burning (and they have scented candles, too, and Marc likes those, but the scent could mess with the flavors of the food--not that the scent of the flowers wouldn't).
And then there's Marc, sitting down at the table, scrolling mindlessly through headlines on his phone just so he has something to do while he waits.]
[What Steven expected was just-- dinner. some food cartons and Marc sprawled out somewhere comfortable, ready to eat. He expected a nice evening, sure, but what he gets has him stopping abruptly as he comes out of the bathroom, eyebrows climbing up to his hairline.
He suddenly-- well, he's glad he cleaned himself up a bit in the bathroom. Changed clothes, tried to tame his mess of curls. Because that feels like the minimal amount of effort compared to-- what Marc did. He looks around at the candles and the flowers, and the set table... wringing his hands in a mixture of surprise and nervousness.]
Marc?
[This is certainly not a friendly dinner, is it? Unless Steven has strange notions about what friendly is, not having had very many at all in his life... but he thinks he's quite right on this one. Marc set up a-- a date? He hasn't been on one in so very long. The last attempt was the lady at the museum that he rudely missed the date with, had to eat alone with his flowers and chocolates.
He smiles after a moment, finally coming closer to the table as a smile twitches at his lips.]
Oh my days... it's lovely, Marc.
He suddenly-- well, he's glad he cleaned himself up a bit in the bathroom. Changed clothes, tried to tame his mess of curls. Because that feels like the minimal amount of effort compared to-- what Marc did. He looks around at the candles and the flowers, and the set table... wringing his hands in a mixture of surprise and nervousness.]
Marc?
[This is certainly not a friendly dinner, is it? Unless Steven has strange notions about what friendly is, not having had very many at all in his life... but he thinks he's quite right on this one. Marc set up a-- a date? He hasn't been on one in so very long. The last attempt was the lady at the museum that he rudely missed the date with, had to eat alone with his flowers and chocolates.
He smiles after a moment, finally coming closer to the table as a smile twitches at his lips.]
Oh my days... it's lovely, Marc.
[Marc pockets his phone and stands when Steven says his name. He feels like pulling out Steven's chair might be a bit too much, a bit too corny even for Steven--he might as well kiss his hand, too, at that point. Still, he felt like some acknowledgement of Steven's presence was called for, so now Marc is...standing.
Hey, look, it's only a date if Steven wants it to be. But that's not fair, because it puts all the burden on Steven. Marc absolutely set up a date. But if that's not what Steven wants it to be, Marc could explain it away as just him trying to show that he appreciates Steven, too, ole buddy ole pal.
But it does help to settle some of Marc's nerves that Steven calls the setup "lovely."]
Hey. Glad you like it. [And now there's the tiniest hint of a smile on Marc's lips, too.]
Hey, look, it's only a date if Steven wants it to be. But that's not fair, because it puts all the burden on Steven. Marc absolutely set up a date. But if that's not what Steven wants it to be, Marc could explain it away as just him trying to show that he appreciates Steven, too, ole buddy ole pal.
But it does help to settle some of Marc's nerves that Steven calls the setup "lovely."]
Hey. Glad you like it. [And now there's the tiniest hint of a smile on Marc's lips, too.]
[It's-- rare to see Marc smile. He's always so-- intense. And maybe just dealing with their current circumstances. Sometimes Steven feels a bit guilty. He was-- his purpose was protecting Marc, yeah? Even if he was bloody awful at it. Now he can't really let Marc hide away in their head when he needs it, not when they're both like this, separate.
But Marc is still being so nice to him. Thoughtful. It almost brings a tear to his eye, but he blinks it away before he makes a right fool of himself. It'll just make Marc feel awkward and Steven won't be able to even explain it exactly. Although he can't do much for the nervous fluttering in his stomach or the fact that-- he isn't sure how to do. This. He's not charming like Marc can be. He's awkward and he babbles too much and...
Okay. Okay. He can try at least.
He takes a step towards Marc and summons every bit of nerve he has to lean in and press a quick, chaste kiss to his cheek before he's pulling away to sit down just as quickly. It's just-- a quiet show of appreciation, yeah? Nothing weird about it.
Okay, maybe a little weird, when they're technically the same person. But their whole lives are weird and Steven is slowly getting adjusted to that.]
It smells wonderful too.
[Oh, his mouth is almost watering, just a tiny bit. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.]
But Marc is still being so nice to him. Thoughtful. It almost brings a tear to his eye, but he blinks it away before he makes a right fool of himself. It'll just make Marc feel awkward and Steven won't be able to even explain it exactly. Although he can't do much for the nervous fluttering in his stomach or the fact that-- he isn't sure how to do. This. He's not charming like Marc can be. He's awkward and he babbles too much and...
Okay. Okay. He can try at least.
He takes a step towards Marc and summons every bit of nerve he has to lean in and press a quick, chaste kiss to his cheek before he's pulling away to sit down just as quickly. It's just-- a quiet show of appreciation, yeah? Nothing weird about it.
Okay, maybe a little weird, when they're technically the same person. But their whole lives are weird and Steven is slowly getting adjusted to that.]
It smells wonderful too.
[Oh, his mouth is almost watering, just a tiny bit. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.]
[Marc hadn't expected a kiss--not even a small, brief, chaste one on the cheek. If the "it's lovely, Marc" didn't quite soothe his nerves, that little bit of affection did. Steven wouldn't be about to shut him down if he just kissed him, right? He lets his fingers brush briefly against Steven's.]
Yeah? Let's eat, then. [He's pretty hungry, too. He sits down and takes a sip of his water before picking up his silverware.] Can't take responsibility for the food smelling good. All I did was pick it up.
[There's never been much of a reason to cook for himself. Not when his job took him all over the place and he could try the local cuisine of wherever he was. Not that he has a job anymore. Oh God, they're going to be so poor. Well...no. He's still got skills and contacts he could use, if it came to that. But this is kind of his first real shot at normalcy ever, and he'd rather only fall back on old skills and contacts if he has to.]
Yeah? Let's eat, then. [He's pretty hungry, too. He sits down and takes a sip of his water before picking up his silverware.] Can't take responsibility for the food smelling good. All I did was pick it up.
[There's never been much of a reason to cook for himself. Not when his job took him all over the place and he could try the local cuisine of wherever he was. Not that he has a job anymore. Oh God, they're going to be so poor. Well...no. He's still got skills and contacts he could use, if it came to that. But this is kind of his first real shot at normalcy ever, and he'd rather only fall back on old skills and contacts if he has to.]
[ They really could just ignore it. That's more or less what Marc's already resigned to, no matter how unexpectedly intimate this is, with Steven tucking himself in close and even grabbing his hand to pull his arm in tighter, because all of that could be innocent enough. Weird, sure, everything they do is going to be by default at this point, and it's probably more physical vulnerability than Marc would dare to expose with most people — Steven knows better than anyone just how prone he is to closing himself off — but it's not so hard to put his ego aside with Steven now, he can admit that he likes this.
Maybe Steven's honesty is just that contagious.
Whatever the case, he's not expecting to feel Steven's heartbeat hammering underneath the palm of his hand, which is the exact opposite of relaxing and drifting back off to sleep, if they're even awake now. He hasn't exactly stopped moving either, which is obviously not at all helping the issue, and Marc's almost holding his own breath as he stifles the urge to do the same. It would almost be too easy to wiggle his own hips and see how much more friction he'd get out of it, but—
But Steven's offering, isn't he?
Between that and the much less subtle way he leans back into him, which draws a muffled noise out of him that's close to a grunt, it seems pretty apparent that Steven's not put off. Whether or not he should be, this doesn't feel wrong somehow. It just feels good, and for at least a second Marc lets himself just take it for what it is, nuzzling even closer against Steven's neck as he rocks his hips forward. ]
From you? Yeah. I do.
[ He might as well admit it. ]
What kind of help did you have in mind?
Maybe Steven's honesty is just that contagious.
Whatever the case, he's not expecting to feel Steven's heartbeat hammering underneath the palm of his hand, which is the exact opposite of relaxing and drifting back off to sleep, if they're even awake now. He hasn't exactly stopped moving either, which is obviously not at all helping the issue, and Marc's almost holding his own breath as he stifles the urge to do the same. It would almost be too easy to wiggle his own hips and see how much more friction he'd get out of it, but—
But Steven's offering, isn't he?
Between that and the much less subtle way he leans back into him, which draws a muffled noise out of him that's close to a grunt, it seems pretty apparent that Steven's not put off. Whether or not he should be, this doesn't feel wrong somehow. It just feels good, and for at least a second Marc lets himself just take it for what it is, nuzzling even closer against Steven's neck as he rocks his hips forward. ]
From you? Yeah. I do.
[ He might as well admit it. ]
What kind of help did you have in mind?
[Shutting him down hasn't actually crossed his mind, even if he's not sure what this entails entirely. It's-- a talk they should have, but one that Steven isn't really keen on digging into yet.]
Have you ever cooked much before? [Steven isn't brilliant in the kitchen, but he knows how to d a few simple things -- all vegan that Marc likely wouldn't be very interested in, now that he thinks about it. Or maybe--
He just doesn't want to force anything on him, diet-wise. Steven is happy to make exceptions.
And well, Steven isn't too worried about money yet. He's putting in applications all over the place -- even if people seem a bit wary of hiring the bloke who vandalized a toilet. Understandably, maybe. But-- they'll figure it out. Somehow.]
Have you ever cooked much before? [Steven isn't brilliant in the kitchen, but he knows how to d a few simple things -- all vegan that Marc likely wouldn't be very interested in, now that he thinks about it. Or maybe--
He just doesn't want to force anything on him, diet-wise. Steven is happy to make exceptions.
And well, Steven isn't too worried about money yet. He's putting in applications all over the place -- even if people seem a bit wary of hiring the bloke who vandalized a toilet. Understandably, maybe. But-- they'll figure it out. Somehow.]
[There's a noise that leaves his throat when Marc starts to move in return and there's just-- no denying what reaction he's getting from him, or what reaction his own body is giving in return.
This is the opposite of sleep, but Steven doesn't think he'd have gotten back there anyway and there's-- certainly no way he could have just ignored the rather prominent bulge pressed against his arse all night anyway. Steven is always good at working himself up after all, worrying about what he should or shouldn't be doing.
Although right now? He's not-- worried exactly. No more than he usually is. He didn't quite have a firm idea of how he'd help though. No real grasp of what Marc might like or experience to boldly turn over and take things into his own hands. Now he's left rolling things over in his head, trying to figure it out.]
What would you like?
[It takes-- a lot of courage to turn around and face Marc right now, but he manages it. Rolling on to his side so that they're face to face, rather than how they were.]
Tell me what would-- what would make you feel good. [He's not smooth or charming as Marc, but he is trying at least.]
This is the opposite of sleep, but Steven doesn't think he'd have gotten back there anyway and there's-- certainly no way he could have just ignored the rather prominent bulge pressed against his arse all night anyway. Steven is always good at working himself up after all, worrying about what he should or shouldn't be doing.
Although right now? He's not-- worried exactly. No more than he usually is. He didn't quite have a firm idea of how he'd help though. No real grasp of what Marc might like or experience to boldly turn over and take things into his own hands. Now he's left rolling things over in his head, trying to figure it out.]
What would you like?
[It takes-- a lot of courage to turn around and face Marc right now, but he manages it. Rolling on to his side so that they're face to face, rather than how they were.]
Tell me what would-- what would make you feel good. [He's not smooth or charming as Marc, but he is trying at least.]
[They don't have to have that talk. Really, any conversation could become one that doesn't have to be had, if you try hard enough. Or are Marc Spector. Marc Spector makes not having conversations seem effortless.]
Not much, no. Most of the stuff I can do is breakfast food and sandwiches. I'm really good at scrambling eggs, but I could probably learn to scramble tofu, too. How about you?
[Marc doesn't mind vegan food. He even likes a lot of it. The vegan Pad Thai he's chowing down on right now, for instance. He just wouldn't necessarily want to be 100% vegan 100% of the time. He likes his pizza with cheese and bagels with lox and he looks fucking good in leather. But he's been consciously trying not to bring animal products into the apartment lately and if Steven wanted to establish a boundary of no food that contains animal products in the apartment, Marc would find that very reasonable. It's not hard for him to go out if he feels like eating meat or something.
He's not getting rid of his leather, though. Fuck that.]
Not much, no. Most of the stuff I can do is breakfast food and sandwiches. I'm really good at scrambling eggs, but I could probably learn to scramble tofu, too. How about you?
[Marc doesn't mind vegan food. He even likes a lot of it. The vegan Pad Thai he's chowing down on right now, for instance. He just wouldn't necessarily want to be 100% vegan 100% of the time. He likes his pizza with cheese and bagels with lox and he looks fucking good in leather. But he's been consciously trying not to bring animal products into the apartment lately and if Steven wanted to establish a boundary of no food that contains animal products in the apartment, Marc would find that very reasonable. It's not hard for him to go out if he feels like eating meat or something.
He's not getting rid of his leather, though. Fuck that.]
[Steven isn't inclined to do that really. Just because he's vegan doesn't mean he can't make allowances for Marc to be whatever he wants to be. He's not going to force anything on him -- he wouldn't do that. He'll just... not have any of it.
But even then, a little bit of cheese here and there won't hurt Steven. But steak-- now steak is entirely off-limits. Last time he ate steak, his world turned upside down and he won't risk it again.]
A few things, yeah. Um, I'm not amazing or anything, but maybe I can cook for you sometime, yeah?
[He'd like to do that, he thinks. Or maybe they can cook together. That'd be nice, yeah? Just the two of them together.
... He might also agree that Marc looks good in leather, even. Then again, Marc looks good in anything he wears.]
You know-- this may be the only successful date I've had. But I suppose it's a bit soon to say that, innit? [There's an almost humorous smile on his lips. Give him a chance, he can still muck it ups omehow.]
But even then, a little bit of cheese here and there won't hurt Steven. But steak-- now steak is entirely off-limits. Last time he ate steak, his world turned upside down and he won't risk it again.]
A few things, yeah. Um, I'm not amazing or anything, but maybe I can cook for you sometime, yeah?
[He'd like to do that, he thinks. Or maybe they can cook together. That'd be nice, yeah? Just the two of them together.
... He might also agree that Marc looks good in leather, even. Then again, Marc looks good in anything he wears.]
You know-- this may be the only successful date I've had. But I suppose it's a bit soon to say that, innit? [There's an almost humorous smile on his lips. Give him a chance, he can still muck it ups omehow.]
Yeah, still plenty of time for us to ruin things. [It's a joke. He thinks it's going well so far and doesn't think they'll ruin things.
But still...truth in every joke, right?]
Hope we don't though. [He nudges Steven's foot with his.]
I'd like that. Do I get to know what you'd wanna cook for me, or would you want it to be a surprise? [That's adorable. Marc admits to not being an amazing cook and he gets takeaway. Steven admits to not being an amazing cook and he offers to do it anyway. Marc might be brave in that stereotypical action hero way, but Steven is brave in all the ways Marc admires.]
But still...truth in every joke, right?]
Hope we don't though. [He nudges Steven's foot with his.]
I'd like that. Do I get to know what you'd wanna cook for me, or would you want it to be a surprise? [That's adorable. Marc admits to not being an amazing cook and he gets takeaway. Steven admits to not being an amazing cook and he offers to do it anyway. Marc might be brave in that stereotypical action hero way, but Steven is brave in all the ways Marc admires.]
[He hopes they don't either... and he doesn't intend to try, really. The nudge has him smiling a little bit, giving a shake of his head.]
Oh, no. It will be a surprise, mate. But I'll find a recipe that I think you'll love. [And maybe it won't turn out amazingly well, but he'll try his hardest anyway because Marc is certainly worth the effort.
And whatever burnt or cut fingers he gets along the way.
Of course, hopefully that means Marc won't laugh at him for it.]
Oh, no. It will be a surprise, mate. But I'll find a recipe that I think you'll love. [And maybe it won't turn out amazingly well, but he'll try his hardest anyway because Marc is certainly worth the effort.
And whatever burnt or cut fingers he gets along the way.
Of course, hopefully that means Marc won't laugh at him for it.]
{ Assuming that this is a dream, because it has to be, gives Marc a lot of leeway as far as just going with it and not overthinking any part of it too much. Assuming that they both remember it at all they can always just put it behind them and forget about it if it ends up feeling too weird at some point, and if not— well, he hasn't let himself get that far ahead yet.
Instead he's thinking about the fact that Steven has absolutely no experience to draw from here, he's not even sure the guy's kissed a girl before, let alone done anything more than that. If there's anything working in his favor it's that he knows what he's dealing with here, physically and otherwise, though putting it in this light makes things different for both of them.
It's not like he has a lot in the way of experience with men to draw on here, he might have experimented some, mostly from finding ways to blow off steam with comrades when all they had was each other, it never occurred to him that he might want this with anyone, but... Steven's an exception to a lot of things already.
As Steven shifts around toward him he lifts a hand to that face, familiar even in the very dim light, and drags his thumb lightly across the man's lower lip. It takes a very slight amount of shifting on his part to gently roll Steven over onto his back, letting him settle in between his legs.
It feels good to be there, pressed in close. ]
You sure?
Instead he's thinking about the fact that Steven has absolutely no experience to draw from here, he's not even sure the guy's kissed a girl before, let alone done anything more than that. If there's anything working in his favor it's that he knows what he's dealing with here, physically and otherwise, though putting it in this light makes things different for both of them.
It's not like he has a lot in the way of experience with men to draw on here, he might have experimented some, mostly from finding ways to blow off steam with comrades when all they had was each other, it never occurred to him that he might want this with anyone, but... Steven's an exception to a lot of things already.
As Steven shifts around toward him he lifts a hand to that face, familiar even in the very dim light, and drags his thumb lightly across the man's lower lip. It takes a very slight amount of shifting on his part to gently roll Steven over onto his back, letting him settle in between his legs.
It feels good to be there, pressed in close. ]
You sure?
[It's harder and harder to worry about the potential consequences when Marc has him pushed over on to his back, when there's warmth spreading through out him, creeping up his neck to his face.
When Marc is touching him like that.
They're-- a packaged deal either way, yeah? They'll... have to work it out, or. Something. Or maybe he's being a bit selfish because he's never-- been touched like this before, or wanted like this before, and it's flattering as much as it is nerve wracking.
He sighs softly as he draws his legs up a bit, slides his arms up around Marc's shoulders. One to hold loosely on, the other so his fingers can play through the hair at the nape of his neck.]
Positive. [He manages a smile up at Marc in the dim light.]
I want-- you, Marc. [Which doesn't sound nearly as smooth as it did in his head, but it's the truth.]
When Marc is touching him like that.
They're-- a packaged deal either way, yeah? They'll... have to work it out, or. Something. Or maybe he's being a bit selfish because he's never-- been touched like this before, or wanted like this before, and it's flattering as much as it is nerve wracking.
He sighs softly as he draws his legs up a bit, slides his arms up around Marc's shoulders. One to hold loosely on, the other so his fingers can play through the hair at the nape of his neck.]
Positive. [He manages a smile up at Marc in the dim light.]
I want-- you, Marc. [Which doesn't sound nearly as smooth as it did in his head, but it's the truth.]
[When has Steven ever known Marc to laugh? No, though, he'd appreciate the effort and maybe offer to play doctor if Steven did get hurt.]
I'm a sucker for Indian food. [And there are tons of vegan options, so it'd be really easy to find something they'd both like. But whatever Steven chooses will be fine, honestly.]
So. Are you saying you'd be up for a second date? [He just barely manages to hide a smile.]
I--feel like I should've asked you first, instead of just springin' it on you. It's just, the way you were talking and all--
I'm a sucker for Indian food. [And there are tons of vegan options, so it'd be really easy to find something they'd both like. But whatever Steven chooses will be fine, honestly.]
So. Are you saying you'd be up for a second date? [He just barely manages to hide a smile.]
I--feel like I should've asked you first, instead of just springin' it on you. It's just, the way you were talking and all--
[Steven nods and takes note of that -- Indian food. He can do that. He can definitely do that.
He's already going over options of what to make when-- oh! An easy smile comes to Steven's lips.]
You don't even have to ask, mate... [He's definitely ready for a second date and a third and--
He doesn't care if this is strange or unconventional when he sees Marc looking actually-- pleased? Happy?
He reaches slowly across the table to rest his hand on top of Marc's.]
... I care about you, Marc. So much. I just-- I'm happy. We get to be together still and try to make-- whatever this is work. [It could have ended so much worse in the Duat.]
He's already going over options of what to make when-- oh! An easy smile comes to Steven's lips.]
You don't even have to ask, mate... [He's definitely ready for a second date and a third and--
He doesn't care if this is strange or unconventional when he sees Marc looking actually-- pleased? Happy?
He reaches slowly across the table to rest his hand on top of Marc's.]
... I care about you, Marc. So much. I just-- I'm happy. We get to be together still and try to make-- whatever this is work. [It could have ended so much worse in the Duat.]
[The Duat is...touchy. His nightmares of Steven being frozen in sand are becoming less frequent as time passes, but he still gets them sometimes. Whereas when they first got back, he had those nightmares almost every night, he now gets them only every few weeks. Is this how healing works? Marc wouldn't know. But it does give him hope that one day, the nightmares will subside entirely.
Marc's breath catches in his throat as he listens to Steven. When he remembers to breathe again, he nods a few times.] Yeah. Yeah. [He brings Steven's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of it before holding Steven's palm to his face.]
Marc's breath catches in his throat as he listens to Steven. When he remembers to breathe again, he nods a few times.] Yeah. Yeah. [He brings Steven's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of it before holding Steven's palm to his face.]
[He tries to not-- pry into Marc's nightmares unless he wants to talk about them himself. If he knew that it left-- that much of a lasting impact on Marc, he'd feel just awful. He already feels awful that Marc gave up literal paradise for him.
Flattered, yes, but absolutely awful. He had a chance at peace after all... true peace. Quiet in his head.
But that's all in the background when Marc kisses his hand like that, when he's cupping his face. Oh--
His heart skips a beat. And then he's just-- leaning in before he can overthink it or start getting too flustered to give Marc a kiss on the lips, properly. Should he? He doesn't know. But it also doesn't matter because it looks like Marc wants it, and Steven does too and--
Oh, it feels so much nicer than even Steven anticipated. Butterflies in his stomach and all.]
Flattered, yes, but absolutely awful. He had a chance at peace after all... true peace. Quiet in his head.
But that's all in the background when Marc kisses his hand like that, when he's cupping his face. Oh--
His heart skips a beat. And then he's just-- leaning in before he can overthink it or start getting too flustered to give Marc a kiss on the lips, properly. Should he? He doesn't know. But it also doesn't matter because it looks like Marc wants it, and Steven does too and--
Oh, it feels so much nicer than even Steven anticipated. Butterflies in his stomach and all.]
[Here's the thing, though, right: paradise is subjective. To some, the perfect beach is sunny and tropical and warm with white sands and azure waters. To others, the perfect beach is temperate with light grey skies and occasional sun breaks and waters so powerful that the beach is strewn with logs that were tossed ashore like toothpicks. It's not hard to guess which of the two camps Marc falls into.
But anyway, the point is: Marc can't imagine ever being able to experience peace or paradise knowing Steven was stuck in those sands. The Field of Reeds wouldn't have been "heaven" in those circumstances (whatever "heaven" means to a minimally practicing Jew who's always believed in focusing on the now and what happens in this life, but has now gotten a taste of what the afterlife is like). It only would've been "heaven" if Steven had been able to go with him.
Marc's a little embarrassed to whimper against Steven's lips, but he kisses him back.] Never thought I'd get to do that. [It's spoken quietly, their lips still just inches apart. His eyes drift down to Steven's mouth, and he goes in for another one.]
But anyway, the point is: Marc can't imagine ever being able to experience peace or paradise knowing Steven was stuck in those sands. The Field of Reeds wouldn't have been "heaven" in those circumstances (whatever "heaven" means to a minimally practicing Jew who's always believed in focusing on the now and what happens in this life, but has now gotten a taste of what the afterlife is like). It only would've been "heaven" if Steven had been able to go with him.
Marc's a little embarrassed to whimper against Steven's lips, but he kisses him back.] Never thought I'd get to do that. [It's spoken quietly, their lips still just inches apart. His eyes drift down to Steven's mouth, and he goes in for another one.]
[ Marc's eyes almost drift shut for a moment when those fingers stroke along the back of his neck, it just happens to be a sensitive spot — he wonders now if Steven would have the exact same ones that he does or if he's got his own, knowing there's only one way to find out — and he's not in the mood to be shy about letting Steven know what feels good in his own way. He's the one who knows what he's doing here, mostly, and yet it's a whole different kind of sensation, giving and taking from someone who knows and understands him as thoroughly as Steven does, which is probably why there's a lot less fumbling now that there would have been with anyone else.
Marc never said as much, he's reluctant to admit these things, but he would have been incredibly jealous if Steven did find someone else to do this with, though he'd be totally within his rights to do exactly that for once, having been deprived of the chance before. He knew that before, he just didn't fully realize that he wanted to be the one right here.
But he does. He wants it a lot.
Steven doesn't need to be smooth, the honesty is what Marc needed, what he's always needed, and he won't give him the chance to stumble over his words anyway because he's occupying Steven's mouth with a kiss instead. One that's warm and slow and patient, knowing that it might take a minute for him to stop overthinking it and relax into it.
Or maybe it won't, maybe it'll go straight to surprisingly passionate, especially since he's rocking his hips into Steven now, giving them both a considerable amount of friction despite the fact that they're both still got clothes in the way. ]
Marc never said as much, he's reluctant to admit these things, but he would have been incredibly jealous if Steven did find someone else to do this with, though he'd be totally within his rights to do exactly that for once, having been deprived of the chance before. He knew that before, he just didn't fully realize that he wanted to be the one right here.
But he does. He wants it a lot.
Steven doesn't need to be smooth, the honesty is what Marc needed, what he's always needed, and he won't give him the chance to stumble over his words anyway because he's occupying Steven's mouth with a kiss instead. One that's warm and slow and patient, knowing that it might take a minute for him to stop overthinking it and relax into it.
Or maybe it won't, maybe it'll go straight to surprisingly passionate, especially since he's rocking his hips into Steven now, giving them both a considerable amount of friction despite the fact that they're both still got clothes in the way. ]
[This is-- honestly more perfect than Steven could have ever asked for. Sure, he'd have liked to see the Field of Reeds, to see Marc happy and at peace. But the way he whimpers against Steven's mouth sends a thrill through him, seems better than anything he could have ever hoped for.
It has him letting out a noise of his own as he just... pushes into that next kiss and slides a hand up to tangle loosely through Marc's hair, keeping him pulled in. Steven might not have much experience at all, but hopefully the enthusiasm makes up for it in the end, the genuine desire to make Marc feel wanted and loved and... important.
Because he is. Terribly so to Steven. He can't imagine his life without him at all.
He shifts himself as close as he can given their positions, lips tentatively parting to deepen the kiss-- if Marc wants.]
It has him letting out a noise of his own as he just... pushes into that next kiss and slides a hand up to tangle loosely through Marc's hair, keeping him pulled in. Steven might not have much experience at all, but hopefully the enthusiasm makes up for it in the end, the genuine desire to make Marc feel wanted and loved and... important.
Because he is. Terribly so to Steven. He can't imagine his life without him at all.
He shifts himself as close as he can given their positions, lips tentatively parting to deepen the kiss-- if Marc wants.]
[No one really pays Steven much mind at all, let alone ever shows interest in taking him to bed. The only-- person he's even been remotely interested in happens to be Marc's wife and maybe that really is... wrong of him. He doesn't want to make Marc upset and he's not sure how Layla actually feels about everything.
Not that he's trying to think about her right now.
It's hard to think about anything besides how handsome Marc looks, how his reactions make his stomach flip flop int he best of ways. He doesn't care if they look alike -- they both carry it so different. He's sure Marc is so much nicer to look at than him. Big and strong and confident in ways Steven can never be.
Oh, and so good at kissing Steven in ways that leave him whimpering and clutching at Marc with an urgent need to keep going, to feel-- more. There's a gasp against Marc's lips at the first roll of Marc's hips, at that delightful friction that makes him twitch forward, seeking out more.]
Oh, Marc-- [He's scrambling to tug at Marc's shirt. He's nervous and-- trying to not overthink things, but it's impossible to cut that part out entirely. All he can do is force himself to act even as his mind races a million miles a minute.]
This isn't-- like anything I've thought of before. I think it's better. [Not that he's let him think about Marc like this-- much. Maybe a little. Hopefully Marc won't be upset at the idea or anything.]
Not that he's trying to think about her right now.
It's hard to think about anything besides how handsome Marc looks, how his reactions make his stomach flip flop int he best of ways. He doesn't care if they look alike -- they both carry it so different. He's sure Marc is so much nicer to look at than him. Big and strong and confident in ways Steven can never be.
Oh, and so good at kissing Steven in ways that leave him whimpering and clutching at Marc with an urgent need to keep going, to feel-- more. There's a gasp against Marc's lips at the first roll of Marc's hips, at that delightful friction that makes him twitch forward, seeking out more.]
Oh, Marc-- [He's scrambling to tug at Marc's shirt. He's nervous and-- trying to not overthink things, but it's impossible to cut that part out entirely. All he can do is force himself to act even as his mind races a million miles a minute.]
This isn't-- like anything I've thought of before. I think it's better. [Not that he's let him think about Marc like this-- much. Maybe a little. Hopefully Marc won't be upset at the idea or anything.]
[The enthusiasm makes up for the lack of experience, sure, but so does the fact that this is...Steven. Steven is precious to Marc in ways he can't even begin to adequately express--in ways he doesn't even quite understand himself. And despite his insistence that his negative self-talk earlier was a joke, he really doesn't know how Steven got so attached to him, or how Steven could want to stay with him after learning everything he did in the Duat. But Steven does want him back, does care about him too, and Marc is so...humbled? Humbled and grateful.
He does break the kiss, though, sensing Steven's desire to deepen it. If things get more intense while they're sitting across the table from each other, they're going to knock stuff over.]
Hang on a sec.
[He takes a second to blow out the candles, then gets up and walks around the table to seat himself in Steven's lap. He searches Steven's face for any sign of discomfort.] Is this okay? [He also kind of doesn't want to go too far right now. He's usually not opposed to sex on a first date--especially if the date went well--but this is Steven, and he wants to take his time for once.]
He does break the kiss, though, sensing Steven's desire to deepen it. If things get more intense while they're sitting across the table from each other, they're going to knock stuff over.]
Hang on a sec.
[He takes a second to blow out the candles, then gets up and walks around the table to seat himself in Steven's lap. He searches Steven's face for any sign of discomfort.] Is this okay? [He also kind of doesn't want to go too far right now. He's usually not opposed to sex on a first date--especially if the date went well--but this is Steven, and he wants to take his time for once.]
[He hadn't-- been thinking of where this would go ultimately. Just that Marc was kissing him and he wouldn't trade it for anything, he thinks. He wouldn't trade making Marc feel good, loved, or feeling all of it returned.
Marc has his flaws, of course, and Steven-- is still upset over a lot of things that were kept from him. But how can he not love the man who's tried to protect him in his own way? Or who left paradise just so he didn't have to stay lost in the sands alone? Whatever issues they've got -- it doesn't matter in comparison to all of that.
His throat feels a bit dry when he's suddenly got a lapful of Marc, when he's looking up at him and placing his hands tentatively on his hips to help keep him balanced. It isn't bad at all, even if Steven isn't sure-- he's not sure he can go as far as he thinks Marc might want to go. Not yet. It's new and it's frightening, no matter how much he knows Marc wouldn't intentionally set out to hurt him.
But holding? Kissing? He can do that. He smiles as he slips his arms around Marc, holds him close.]
It's perfect. [There's a more genuine smile before he leans up to kiss Marc again, letting it linger a little further.]
Are you-- okay?
Marc has his flaws, of course, and Steven-- is still upset over a lot of things that were kept from him. But how can he not love the man who's tried to protect him in his own way? Or who left paradise just so he didn't have to stay lost in the sands alone? Whatever issues they've got -- it doesn't matter in comparison to all of that.
His throat feels a bit dry when he's suddenly got a lapful of Marc, when he's looking up at him and placing his hands tentatively on his hips to help keep him balanced. It isn't bad at all, even if Steven isn't sure-- he's not sure he can go as far as he thinks Marc might want to go. Not yet. It's new and it's frightening, no matter how much he knows Marc wouldn't intentionally set out to hurt him.
But holding? Kissing? He can do that. He smiles as he slips his arms around Marc, holds him close.]
It's perfect. [There's a more genuine smile before he leans up to kiss Marc again, letting it linger a little further.]
Are you-- okay?
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