"I don't want to." He would have taken his past to the grave if it meant that Steven could go on to the Field of Reeds and not have to worry about Marc's recklessness while he could just die in the desert.
"I'm not gonna suddenly speak French, Steven," Marc replies with a scoff. "And you're not gonna suddenly speak Arabic. It's not like your 'muscle memory' theory." Which, that's also not exactly how that works, he's pretty sure. "I wouldn't be able to keep anything from you otherwise. There's a-- thing between us. You're your own person and I'm my own person." And Marc is fully intent on keeping things that way.
"Let's put it to the test then. Next time we go back in." It's because Layla's the duvet thief that Marc knows he likely isn't the snatchy fighty one. Not to mention, it's Steven. He already lets him have everything. He'd be lucky to have his own sliver of the bed to lie on while Steven hogs 80% of the mattress and 100% of the blanket.
"You can't do that... you can't just say I don't want to!" That's not fair-- can't they just... be honest with each other? Why does it have to be so difficult with Marc? He doesn't want to fight, but... he just wants to feel like Marc can at least trust him with the less nice bits too.
"I know we're-- different. But... you did make me up. Maybe part of you wants to be able to speak it. Or--" He trails off, thoughtful. Maybe Marc just has a type. It's a bit difficult to ignore the similarities between him and Layla when it comes to-- interests. But does that mean Marc influenced Steven or did Marc just seek those qualities out in someone else or--
That whole line of thought has him uncomfortable though. He's quite to shrug it off, push it down. "It doesn't matter, does it? I'm me and you're you, and we're staying that way."
"Steven..." Marc is on the brink of apologising. He hadn't meant to upset the little guy. "I've had half a glass. I'm not-- I'll tell you when I'm ready to, okay?" Is it worrying that he needs to drink to talk? At least Marc is being honest about not being ready rather than promising that he will and he will and he will and he ends up never doing what he says.
"You're not just some-- imaginary friend I made up. I didn't pick some traits I liked off a catalogue and assemble you like a lego figure. I needed someone, and you were there for me. You're no more made up than a broken condom or-- lines on a pee stick." They just... happen to be sharing more things than other people. He hopes one day Steven won't hold the way Marc made him against him. But of course, that involves talking and listening on both sides, doesn't it?
He takes another big swig of whiskey and leaves the almost empty glass on a safe flat surface, trying not to touch it anymore.
"You gonna be okay tonight Steven?" He doesn't want to just fuck off and let Steven enjoy the rest of his quiet night in if Steven's going to be upset.
"Marc..." No, that's definitely worrying. He doesn't want Marc to have to drink himself into oblivion, force himself into talking. He just isn't sure anything he says will make a difference on that... not tonight. "... Okay."
Okay. When he's ready. He can-- try to be patient.
"Quite a colorful... comparison there, mate." Broken condom? Lines on a-- on a pee stick? Of all the things... he's not entirely certain how that makes him feel, but just add it to the laundry list of things that are complicated and he's still trying-- and failing to process properly. To be fair, there aren't any books on how to handle this, no advice anyone can give.
"Mm. I'll just read a book or two." How can he make Marc sit up and babysit him? It's not... fair to him, even if he'd rather not be alone. He's got the fish to keep him company at least.
"I'll hang around." He doesn't want to be alone either. And Steven makes for decent company, regardless of what he thinks about himself.
"I'm not just interested in you reading that story out loud. Come on. Get comfortable." It's always awkward when Steven rolls on in and gets whacked upside the head with all that alcohol but Marc's been trying to ease him in and he's been acclimating better every time.
lmao it's okay, I got you!! Marc probably would call it that 😤
"Are you... sure you don't want another drink?" If it helps Marc, he can maybe look the other way just this once, just this day. Just this one day that's tough on the both of them. Well-- didn't use to be tough on him, but.
"Okay, okay... if you're sure." He doesn't mind if Marc would like to stay in control for a bit longer, but-- fine. He can swap out. And get hit with the slight buzz of alcohol, the burn he swears is lingering behind. The warmth left in its wake isn't so bad though.
"If you give me another one I'm not going to stop," Marc warns. He knows he has little self-restraint once he cracks open a bottle and if Steven wants to have even half a productive day tomorrow, and wean Marc off these bad habits, he'd dig up all the caches of liquor and hide them from Marc.
For a moment, it seems like Marc's completely vanished, but then he tugs the blanket over on top of Steven to tuck him in and get him settled in for storytime.
"Okay..." No more drinks, then. Part of him is still vaguely worried he'll go to sleep and wake up with a hangover though. Marc has been better about not just clutching for control the minute he closes his eyes, but... this is a bit of a special circumstance, isn't it?
But there's Marc, tucking him in and he can't... exactly stop a smile. "No, I'm good. Are you ready to pick up where we left off, Marc?"
"Yep." Marc is back on the windowpane once Steven has settled down. He's got his arms folded behind his head on the bed, looking up and out the apartment although he's listening closely. He can get more restful sleep here compared to that little cot and it's a lot less stuffy with some fresh air through the window. He doesn't feel like he's breathing in the mould growing all over other peoples' junk and there's no echoes of approaching footsteps to get paranoid over. He can just-- lie there and listen to Steven and let himself drift off knowing that the flat is mostly safe.
"Let's get through the next chapter." Maybe two if Steven is feeling up for it. Hopefully they don't all end in cliffhangers. That's going to get old and annoying real fast.
Steven reaches to grab the book, opening up to the next chapter they're on. There's a brief look over before-- he starts to read the next exciting adventure of the veteran smuggler. Of course there's voices and animated gestures to emphasis the paragraphs.
Maybe he should feel a bit embarrassed, but-- Marc seems to have been entertained the last time and Steven is wrapped up enough in the story that he doesn't seem to mind being a little silly.
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"I'm not gonna suddenly speak French, Steven," Marc replies with a scoff. "And you're not gonna suddenly speak Arabic. It's not like your 'muscle memory' theory." Which, that's also not exactly how that works, he's pretty sure. "I wouldn't be able to keep anything from you otherwise. There's a-- thing between us. You're your own person and I'm my own person." And Marc is fully intent on keeping things that way.
"Let's put it to the test then. Next time we go back in." It's because Layla's the duvet thief that Marc knows he likely isn't the snatchy fighty one. Not to mention, it's Steven. He already lets him have everything. He'd be lucky to have his own sliver of the bed to lie on while Steven hogs 80% of the mattress and 100% of the blanket.
no subject
"I know we're-- different. But... you did make me up. Maybe part of you wants to be able to speak it. Or--" He trails off, thoughtful. Maybe Marc just has a type. It's a bit difficult to ignore the similarities between him and Layla when it comes to-- interests. But does that mean Marc influenced Steven or did Marc just seek those qualities out in someone else or--
That whole line of thought has him uncomfortable though. He's quite to shrug it off, push it down. "It doesn't matter, does it? I'm me and you're you, and we're staying that way."
Because Marc is a stubborn twit.
"Deal. Maybe you'll be surprised."
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"You're not just some-- imaginary friend I made up. I didn't pick some traits I liked off a catalogue and assemble you like a lego figure. I needed someone, and you were there for me. You're no more made up than a broken condom or-- lines on a pee stick." They just... happen to be sharing more things than other people. He hopes one day Steven won't hold the way Marc made him against him. But of course, that involves talking and listening on both sides, doesn't it?
He takes another big swig of whiskey and leaves the almost empty glass on a safe flat surface, trying not to touch it anymore.
"You gonna be okay tonight Steven?" He doesn't want to just fuck off and let Steven enjoy the rest of his quiet night in if Steven's going to be upset.
no subject
Okay. When he's ready. He can-- try to be patient.
"Quite a colorful... comparison there, mate." Broken condom? Lines on a-- on a pee stick? Of all the things... he's not entirely certain how that makes him feel, but just add it to the laundry list of things that are complicated and he's still trying-- and failing to process properly. To be fair, there aren't any books on how to handle this, no advice anyone can give.
"Mm. I'll just read a book or two." How can he make Marc sit up and babysit him? It's not... fair to him, even if he'd rather not be alone. He's got the fish to keep him company at least.
"You can rest, if you want."
I forgot the word for pregnancy test 😮💨
"I'm not just interested in you reading that story out loud. Come on. Get comfortable." It's always awkward when Steven rolls on in and gets whacked upside the head with all that alcohol but Marc's been trying to ease him in and he's been acclimating better every time.
lmao it's okay, I got you!! Marc probably would call it that 😤
"Okay, okay... if you're sure." He doesn't mind if Marc would like to stay in control for a bit longer, but-- fine. He can swap out. And get hit with the slight buzz of alcohol, the burn he swears is lingering behind. The warmth left in its wake isn't so bad though.
Eloquence is not his strong suit 🤷♂️
For a moment, it seems like Marc's completely vanished, but then he tugs the blanket over on top of Steven to tuck him in and get him settled in for storytime.
"You good? Or do you want a tea or something?"
He's going to scandalize Steven 😬
But there's Marc, tucking him in and he can't... exactly stop a smile. "No, I'm good. Are you ready to pick up where we left off, Marc?"
How does Steven think these things work? 🤔
"Let's get through the next chapter." Maybe two if Steven is feeling up for it. Hopefully they don't all end in cliffhangers. That's going to get old and annoying real fast.
Technically, he wasn't even born that way 🙄
Maybe he should feel a bit embarrassed, but-- Marc seems to have been entertained the last time and Steven is wrapped up enough in the story that he doesn't seem to mind being a little silly.